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McMouse

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McMouse

British Weather

The Archbishop of Canterbury and The Royal Commission for Political Correctness announced today that the climate in the UK should no longer be referred to as English Weather. Rather than offend a...
12:04 Fri 27th Jun 20146 answers, last by Old_Geezer 20:18 Fri 27th Jun 2014
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McMouse

Frozen Crabs

A lawyer boarded a Jetstar flight in Perth, with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator....
09:57 Wed 11th Jun 20143 answers, last by 1ozzy 10:00 Wed 11th Jun 2014
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McMouse

The Welfare State

Dear Benefits Office Manager My name is Mohammed Reza and I live in Birmingham , and I would like to present before you the following story. Many years ago, I married a widow out of love who had an...
10:48 Tue 27th May 20143 answers, last by tamborine 23:51 Wed 28th May 2014
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McMouse

Education....!!!

A rural couple had made sacrifices to save money to send their only son to college. Once there, he began to let his hair grow long, plus sideburns, a mustache, and a goatee. When his hair was...
10:48 Mon 26th May 20146 answers, last by Amycheal 11:21 Thu 05th Jun 2014
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McMouse

I No Come Wok Today !

Hung Chow calls his work and says "Hey, I no come wok today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come wok". The boss says "You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you...
10:09 Mon 19th May 20142 answers, last by berniecuddles 10:23 Mon 19th May 2014
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McMouse

Out Of The Mouth Of Babes…

A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying, "God bless Mummy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and good-bye Grandpa." The father...
10:17 Tue 13th May 20142 answers, last by albaqwerty 14:41 Tue 13th May 2014
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McMouse

Bankers

A Banker parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues. As he's getting out of the car, a lorry comes speeding along too close to the kerb and takes off the door...
10:05 Thu 08th May 20149 answers, last by marval 16:59 Thu 08th May 2014
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McMouse

Life In The Australian Army...

Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland ) Dear Mum & Dad, I am well....
09:38 Tue 22nd Apr 20145 answers, last by maggiebee 22:10 Tue 22nd Apr 2014
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McMouse

Soft Boiled Eggs

with Marmite soldiers and celery salt. My perfect start to the day. What's yours?
10:18 Fri 28th Mar 201418 answers, last by mccfluff 13:12 Fri 28th Mar 2014
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McMouse

Men Do Remember Anniversaries

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot...
10:55 Tue 25th Mar 20142 answers, last by albaqwerty 10:59 Tue 25th Mar 2014
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McMouse

Saving The Planet

Council has introduced a new re-cycling regime with 5 difference bins. I've just about fathomed out what does where, but not without casualties. 1. Turned ankle stamping on beer cans which have to be...
12:07 Mon 24th Mar 201424 answers, last by RATTER15 14:30 Mon 24th Mar 2014
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McMouse

What Is Your Food Of Love?

I tried a dozen oysters last year. They were useless, only five worked.
10:29 Fri 14th Feb 201418 answers, last by gness 11:56 Fri 14th Feb 2014
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McMouse

A Poem About Tomatoes

I know a politician whose name is Jim, I really love throwing tomatoes at him, Tomatoes are soft and don't hurt the skin, But these f***ers do, 'cos they're still in the tin...
11:39 Thu 13th Feb 201413 answers, last by marval 16:51 Thu 13th Feb 2014
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McMouse

Dawn Came Early Today.

Was quite a surprise.
12:15 Wed 29th Jan 20148 answers, last by cupid04 14:26 Thu 30th Jan 2014
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McMouse

The Old Sailor

Norman, an old retired sailor, puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks once more, for old times sake and some hot sex. He engages a lovely prostitute and takes her up to a room. He's soon...
10:52 Wed 29th Jan 20145 answers, last by cupid04 18:06 Wed 29th Jan 2014
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McMouse

A Love Story

Alan and Sandra lived on a cove at Gull Lake Alberta. It was early winter and the lower portion of the cove had frozen over. Alan asked Sandra if she would walk across the frozen part of the cove to...
11:02 Mon 27th Jan 20149 answers, last by Baldric 18:33 Mon 27th Jan 2014
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McMouse

Theatre Seats For Seniors

An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the movie theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat." The old man...
11:58 Thu 23rd Jan 20147 answers, last by leahbee 20:53 Fri 24th Jan 2014
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McMouse

Lost In Translation

I was at my bank today and there was a short queue. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for pounds. It was obvious she was very irritated . . . She...
11:12 Thu 23rd Jan 20142 answers, last by marval 18:49 Thu 23rd Jan 2014
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McMouse

Pay Rise

The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked, “Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?" ”Maria: “Well,...
11:03 Wed 22nd Jan 20147 answers, last by cupid04 17:15 Wed 22nd Jan 2014
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McMouse

Is The End Nigh?

Mrs McM just uttered the fateful words "I agree with you"...
11:44 Tue 21st Jan 201411 answers, last by Svejk 14:33 Tue 21st Jan 2014

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