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lindylou16

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lindylou16
a bloke goes to the butchers and ask for 2kg of vension. the butcher says " that'll be ?75.00 !" The bloke replies " ?75.00 ... thats expensive" the butcher says " well....it is deer !!!"
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lindylou16
Advice please. When laying stone dust.and compacting it, will it get solid enough naturally or should i add something to it before laying slabs on it.
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lindylou16
whats the difference between frank sinatra and walt disney??..Frank sings and walt disney
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lindylou16
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
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lindylou16
I looked at the BMW Highway Code and it only has one page. It says: YOU ALWAYS HAVE RIGHT OF WAY
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lindylou16
Hello Where can i find the site in all the papers where google pictures are in the UK cities
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lindylou16
There are two cows in a field. Which one is on holiday? The one with the wee calf
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lindylou16
I used to file my nails, but I thought: 'what's the point in keeping them?'
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lindylou16
Great advances in science and technology have given us the answer to so many mysterious questions and allowed us to make many amazing discoveries over the past few centuries. But there is still one...
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lindylou16
My wife went to the beauty parlour for a facial mud pack. She looked really nice for a couple of days Then the mud fell off.
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lindylou16
There was a letter on my doormat this morning with the words "do not bend" on it. I thought, well how the hell am I going to pick it up?
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lindylou16
When he came home yesterday he asked to go to McDonalds, I thought here is a chance. I said "We will if you can spell it" He thought for a minute then said " "OK lets go to KFC instead"
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lindylou16
Some old woman was paying by cheque.
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lindylou16
I recently saw a condom machine in a toilet, which had a "Tested to British Safety Standards" sign on it. Underneath someone had scrawled: "So was the Titanic." Underneath that someone had scrawled...
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lindylou16
I went to a German Restaurant the other day. Not a pleasant experience. The starter was saurkraut, and it was bloody awful. But the wurst was yet to come.
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lindylou16
All this talk of dangerous, genetically modified, food tasting horrible is nonsense. I mean, just today I had a delicious leg of salmon.
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lindylou16
I read in the paper that Peter Mandelson receives two turds a week through the post. What I want to know is, who's sending the other one?
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lindylou16
A woman walks up to reception at a casino in Riyadh. "What can I get you?" said the woman behind the desk. "Burkha and chips please."
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lindylou16
I got stopped by one of them the other day. She said,"Do you mind if I ask you ten short questions"? I said,"Ok,go on then" "Have you ever suffered from a blackout?"she asked. "Don't think so",I...
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lindylou16
She said,"Do you mind if I ask you ten short questions"? I said,"Ok,go on then" "Have you ever suffered from a blackout?"she asked. "Don't think so",I replied. She said,"And finally question ten".

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