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2005/2006. Chelsea v Liverpool Champions League. Michael Essien launches a nasty challenge on Didi Hamman. He is booked (should have been sent off). Liverpool (big team) complain to UEFA, and Chelsea...
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stood naked in front of the mirror, and asked "What do you find most attractive about me, my looks or my figure"? I said: "Your sense of humour".
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to buy a parrot. The shop has two parrots for sale, one costs ?500 and the other only ?50. "Why is that one so cheap?" asks the woman. "Because it used to live in a brothel, and its language is a bit...
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Nasty, vicious little pug-faced twerp does it again. Should get a retrospective ban. Yes or no?http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=6mqhVlN2YAA How does the referee miss both challenges?
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Does anyone think he is just a wee bit over-rated?
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A young man called Chris from London wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new girlfriend. They hadn't been seeing each other for very long and she lived in Scotland. Chris consulted with his...
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Manchester United, Liverpool, Chelsea and Arsenal are the "big four" in English Football. What do Tottenham, Aston Villa and Everton share in common (that no other clubs do) with them? I do know the...
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Did Coldplay "rip off" Joe Satriani? I often hear songs, and think: " that sounds like.........", but to the untrained ear (mine), these songs are TOO similar for it not to be a copy. It's apparently...
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A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a ?30,000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the...
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Sacked or walked out on Sunderland (don't care which). I, for one, hope he fails in every job he does in football. He is (and always will be) a nasty, vicious coward of a man. Your thoughts? Hero or...
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are having a nightmare training the new President against terror attacks. Every time someone shouts "GET DOWN", he starts dancing.
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: A Pregnant Pause The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly and was telling the men mow to...
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This section has been rubbish since the format was changed, and you were diverted to a different set-up. I have just logged on to sportsanswerbank (it took ages to load, as usual) and found that the...
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Isn't this song beautiful? http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=qw-J8kC5DHo Thats it really.
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I ended up with an older woman at a club last night. She looked OK for a 61 year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a hot daughter. We drank a...
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Wife: If I died, would you re-marry? Husband: I don't think so. Wife: Why, don't you like being married? Husband: Of course, but only to you. Wife: I wouldn't mind if you re-married. Husband (sighs):...
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Operator asks: "How many passengers?" "Don't ask me" says Paddy." Its your f**king plane."
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Need a little bit of advice, really. My son is in his second year at University, and shares a flat (above an off-licence) with seven other students. They are having a problem with a neighbour (one who...

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