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frugalfred

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frugalfred

Double-Entendres

12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio: 1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.' 2. New Zealand...
09:30 Tue 22nd Oct 201312 answers, last by seekeerz 01:02 Thu 24th Oct 2013
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frugalfred

Marriage II

My wife phoned me. "There's water in the carburettor!" "Where's the car?" I asked. She replied, "In the lake." If you don't like women drivers, get off the pavement. I miss my wife's cooking - as...
14:22 Mon 21st Oct 20135 answers, last by DTCwordfan 19:12 Mon 21st Oct 2013
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frugalfred

Marriage

I haven't spoken to my wife for three weeks. I didn't want to interrupt her. My wife will buy anything that's marked down - she's just bought two dresses and an escalator. My wife has just had plastic...
11:06 Mon 21st Oct 20134 answers, last by excelsior-1 17:08 Mon 21st Oct 2013
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frugalfred

Nurse

A very tired nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. Preparing to write a cheque, she pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it. When she...
15:13 Thu 26th Sep 20139 answers, last by marval 17:31 Thu 26th Sep 2013
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frugalfred

Stay!

I puled in to the crowded car park at the local shopping centre and rolled down the car windows to make sure my new puppy has sufficient air.She was stretched full out on the back seat and I wanted to...
17:21 Mon 23rd Sep 20133 answers, last by excelsior-1 17:25 Mon 23rd Sep 2013
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frugalfred

The Genie And The Lamp

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted each of them one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was...
15:17 Mon 23rd Sep 20132 answers, last by marval 16:05 Mon 23rd Sep 2013
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frugalfred

Paddy Yet Again..

19 Irishmen go to the cinema. The ticket lady asks, "Why so many of you?" Paddy replies , "The advert for the film said 18 or over."...
20:28 Thu 08th Aug 20136 answers, last by cupid04 00:07 Fri 09th Aug 2013
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frugalfred

Reincarnation

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not...
20:25 Thu 08th Aug 20132 answers, last by excelsior-1 21:38 Thu 08th Aug 2013
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frugalfred

Paddy Again..

Paddy says "Mick , I'm thinking of buying a Labrador." "B##ger that!" says Mick. "Have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"...
20:23 Thu 08th Aug 20133 answers, last by Svejk 20:33 Thu 08th Aug 2013
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frugalfred

Paddy..

Paddy: "Sean, why are ya talking to that envelope?" Sean: "I'm sending voicemail."...
20:19 Thu 08th Aug 20131 answer, last by tonyav 20:21 Thu 08th Aug 2013
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frugalfred

Signs

Sign over a Gynaecologist’s Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix! In a Podiatrist's office: “Time wounds all heels." On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed." On another Plumber's...
12:44 Tue 11th Jun 20133 answers, last by choirmistress6 03:18 Mon 22nd Jul 2013
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frugalfred

Letters From Social Housing Tenants....

Only in Britain - Complaints to Councils Extracts from letters written by council tenants: 1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow. 2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has...
09:54 Sun 09th Jun 20136 answers, last by marval 19:49 Sun 09th Jun 2013
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frugalfred

The Convention

A man boarded an aircraft at London's Heathrow Airport for New York, and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realised she was heading straight...
16:28 Wed 17th Apr 20136 answers, last by Jemisa 23:46 Wed 17th Apr 2013
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frugalfred

F.a.o. Corriebear & Grumpee - Scottish Place Names

Unsavoury English immigrant is "Crook of Devon" in Kinross....
11:10 Sat 13th Apr 20135 answers, last by corriebear1 02:18 Sun 14th Apr 2013
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frugalfred

Exam Howlers

STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN. 1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF...
17:27 Fri 12th Apr 20136 answers, last by pixie373 13:57 Thu 06th Jun 2013
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frugalfred

Local Cryptic

Exclusive group has measure of intelligence in one of these, for example. (6) TIA...
20:50 Sat 16th Feb 20137 answers, last by vakayu 20:52 Sat 16th Feb 2013
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frugalfred

I Hear...

we're sending trainers to Mali; wouldn't sandals be better?
20:30 Tue 29th Jan 20134 answers, last by excelsior-1 20:37 Tue 29th Jan 2013
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frugalfred

I Quit As A Gastroenterologist....

I didn't have the stomach for it. Things went belly up.
20:57 Sun 27th Jan 20134 answers, last by excelsior-1 21:18 Sun 27th Jan 2013
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frugalfred

I Won An Ugly Girl In A Lottery.....

She was a no belle piece prize, but she was dynamite!
18:49 Sat 12th Jan 20132 answers, last by frugalfred 22:58 Sat 12th Jan 2013
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frugalfred

My Librarian Boyfriend Dumped Me......

I was left on the shelf, all Dewey-eyed.
15:49 Sat 12th Jan 201331 answers, last by Zacs-Master 17:37 Sat 12th Jan 2013

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