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carsonking

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maxi2
A milkman was doing his round one Friday, which was the day that he knocked on doors to collect money. He knocked at the door of one house which was opened by a woman in a scanty negligee. "That'll be...
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Seafarer1966
A man was arrested three times this week for knocking his wife out. The police asked him why he keeps beating her. He replied "fancy footwork, better reach and a significant weight advantage."
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lindylou16
I see corduroy pillows are making headlines.
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carsonking
A hip hop tune from the 80's has been ringing round my head for two days now and i can't remember the name of the tune or the performer, all i remember is one line, lol,, the line is 'brentwood girls...
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mandimoo
we are doing our own cd's for our wedding reception and would like some suggestions for the playlist. were not into pop music and would like some wedding (ish) themed songs. we like loads of other...
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PeeBee1
Paddy married an attractive woman, Maggie, half his age, in a small coastal Irish community. After several months, Maggie complained that she had never climaxed during sex and according to her...
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niceboy
When I was a child every house had a drawer in the sideboard that was full of "odds and sods" and "bits and bobs". It was the most interesting place in the house (to a kid). Do you remember that magic...
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sidewinder86
4)An apartment building contains 12 units consisting of one- and two- bedroom apartments that rent for ?360 and ?450 per month respectively. When all units are rented, the total monthly rental is...
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ll_billym
sits at the end of our bed and takes the pi$$ out of you?
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lesblue
It was inevitable that he was going to follow Kaka to Madrid. A Brazilian is often followed by an irritating c**t.
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Drisgirl
But you'll get the drift: GORDON BROWN was visiting a Scottish primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The...
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darren197373
(All together now) "....dont blame it on the sunshine...."
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MsEVP
Who is the body to contact regarding complaining about a TV advert?
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McMouse
The assistant at the Carphone Warehouse came out of the stockroom, showed me a handset and said "Here you are sir, on this model you can set the interface to display in Italian, it includes an...
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McMouse
An Arab has been found dead at the bottom of Michael Barrymore's swimming pool. Apparently it was a suicide bummer.
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Suetheramble
This is true but t amused me. A Co-op shop have put a sign in their window - No more than 2 MP's allowed at any one time.
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ELVIS68
Adventurous = S!ut Athletic = No Tits Thirty Something = 41 Fun = Annoying Wild = Get`s P!ssed Lovely Eyes = Face like a scrapyard Alsation Seeks Knight in Shining Armour = Ex hubby`s a fooking nutter...
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MalcolmY
...one of them says to the other, "How are you then?" "I'm fookin perished," says the other (He was from Yorkshire) "How come?" says the first flea, "This is the south of France.". "I've just come all...
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Slapshot
A plane is on its way to Toronto, when a blonde in economy class gets up, and moves to the first class section and sits down. The flight attendant watches her do this, and asks to see her ticket. She...
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juliehodson
Hi, Does anyone know what this picture refers to.... http://tinyurl.com/q7kpp9 Somewhere in Bristol UK. Thanks, Paul. [email protected]

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