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Berniecuddles2

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TWR
Local news, HGV's in another accident, why do these keep happening? it seems everyday these accidents happen, what causes these? is Inexperience the cause or drivers being tired? it was never like...
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Berniecuddles2
I've just been offered a job as an adult movie director! I told them where to shove it....
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waterboatman
Wednesday. It's raining and we are told it's here for the day. Not a lot to do today. Fine by me! Tiggy was out and about until it started raining, then he went off to bed. Can't think of anything...
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1ozzy
Little Susie, a six-year-old, complained, "Mother, I've got a stomach ache." "That's because your stomach is empty," the mother replied. "You would feel better if you had something in it." That...
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Berniecuddles2
The wife said she wanted to go & see Jeremy Kyle live for her birthday. So I got her sister pregnant! We're on next Wednesday!...
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Kathyan
I have arthritis and use the headboard to turn over in bed. Earlier this year I thought I had pulled a muscle in my left arm by doing this but now I'm not so sure as the pain has got worse and is now...
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waterboatman
Tuesday. Cloudy out. Not cold though, which helps. A busy day today, some of the prep done for this evening, just got to make the place looks like someone lives here, set the table, job done. Tiggy...
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Berniecuddles2
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the...
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Berniecuddles2
I went for a curry the other day and got some terrible news. My naan had slipped into a korma. My bum was sore after a curry. The wife said "ringsting" I said 'why?, what will he know about it?" i Was...
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10ClarionSt
They aint good enough. England and the other home nations are only doing well because of the collapse of Soviet Russia which allowed lots of smaller nations to enter. Add to that the fact that FIFA...
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-SharonA-
What do you call an Irish Rastafarian????? Ea-monn!...
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christabel91
7d:girl in london naked:5l.d?n?a.thks for any help.
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murraymints
a few stumped me 65a fruit trees 7 ?e?l?r? 84a commendation 6 r?e?i? 12d mans name 4 ?t?? stan ? 19a accepted 4 t??? thoght took but that would make name end ino...
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anotheoldgit
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4959892/Marc-Jacobs-hits-politically-correct-complaints.html...
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Berniecuddles2
Scared the postman today by going to the door naked I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived...
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ethandron
For us is: Starter...white wine from puglia Main...lasagne and garlic flatbreads from m&s Pud...strictly from BBC...
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Berniecuddles2
My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the bonnet of her Honda Civic. But if I'm going to have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord....
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Berniecuddles2
I went to a Dunelm store for some new pillows.the assistant in the shop said " Have you heard about those new corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines"...
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Patsy33
I said to husband he was obsessed with snooker. I told him, "I think you need to take a break"........

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