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BANANASPLITS

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BANANASPLITS
Theresa may on the phone to ikea.."hello I need a new cabinet"...
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BANANASPLITS
Brexit!!!!
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BANANASPLITS
A young woman from Portsmouth was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the sea, but just before she could throw herself from the wharf, a handsome young man stopped...
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BANANASPLITS
If you refuse to pay your TV licence, you can be sent to prison. Where, ironically, you can watch plenty of BBC for nothing!...
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BANANASPLITS
I have recently been employed as a nightwatchman by a security firm owned by my ex girlfriend. My wife is furious that I still carry a torch for her ....
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BANANASPLITS
Cant wait to try these https://www.google.com/amp/s/metro.co.uk/2018/11/13/iceland-launches-marmite-brussels-sprouts-and-we-are-horrified-8134786/amp/...
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BANANASPLITS
"Daddy? Do all fairy tales begin with "once upon a time"?" "No", I replied. "There are a whole series of fairy tales that begin with "If elected, I promise...""...
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BANANASPLITS
Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his...
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BANANASPLITS
I got a lift to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said "Have a good day, son." "Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad." He scratched his head. "No, but I brought you up,...
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BANANASPLITS
I went round to Barbie's house last night and asked if she could recommend a good food mixer... She said no, but Ken would!...
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BANANASPLITS
I just bought a suppository from ikea. I had to put it up myself!...
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BANANASPLITS
I’ve just started a new job working as a professional dog walker and it’s so easy. It’s a walk in the park....
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BANANASPLITS
Barcelonas oldest serial flasher died today in his retirement home he died of a stroke just the way he wanted to go! RIP sènor willy .......
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BANANASPLITS
Last night I thought it would be funny to try and impress people by pulling the cloth from a table without breaking anything... Far from being impressed, the members of the snooker club have banned me...
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My wife says I only have 2 faults. One I don't listen I've forgotten the other one...
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BANANASPLITS
Just finished writing a book about basements. My publishing company reckons it'll be a best cellar!...
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BANANASPLITS
  A teacher asks the class to name big words that eat things and end in "TOR". The first little boy said "Alligator". The teacher replied "Very good that is a very clever example". Tne second little...
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Women have only 2 problems: 1. Nothing to wear 2. Not enough room for their clothes...
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Two 70 yr olds are sitting on a park bench talking . 1st man says "you know..I sure feel my age lately I ache all over and find it hard to get about" The other man said "wow I feel like a newborn no...

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