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AndiFlatland

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AndiFlatland
Which way do you stir your tea or coffee - clockwise or anticlockwise? And is it right or wrong either way? I can't see that it matters at all. But the reason I ask is because when I was a kid, about...
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AndiFlatland
Can anybody shed any light on this strange anomaly of our language? How did we ever arrive at the common usage of the word 'pretty' as an adjectival qualifier? eg: This weather's pretty good right...
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AndiFlatland
What's the difference between an oversized undersexed butler, and an undersized oversexed eskimo? One's a massive vassal with a passive tassel. The other's a frigid midget with a rigid digit....
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AndiFlatland
...she had the snuffles so badly, I had to give her a temporary new name... Julia. 'Why Julia?' I hear you all wondering. Julia Sneezer....
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AndiFlatland
When people say 'He got away with it SCOT FREE', how did that phrase originate?
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AndiFlatland
Do they have 18 half-lives?
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AndiFlatland
The Rubber T.Lee
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AndiFlatland
This is apparently a true story - but it could as easily be an urban myth: A temporary secretary was once employed to carry out the customary duties for the boss. The woman was not very experienced,...
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AndiFlatland
A Lankashmir Hotpot.
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AndiFlatland
Did you hear about the madman who went into a launderette, raped several women, and ran away again? Headline in the newspaper next day: Nut Screws Washers and Bolts....
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AndiFlatland
He laid awake at night wondering if there really is a doG.
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AndiFlatland
A tachyon walks into a bar.
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AndiFlatland
Put it in a wood pulp processing plant until you get Lou Rawls (...I think you can all work that one out!)
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AndiFlatland
Put it in a microwave until it's Bill Withers.
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AndiFlatland
You're pink, therefore you're ham.
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AndiFlatland
Because she was suffering from lambnesia.
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AndiFlatland
Make a plan.
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AndiFlatland
If you're unlucky enough to have 2 toothaches at the same time, where do they send you? The Coincidental Surgery....
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AndiFlatland
There were 2 fiercely independently-minded women, called Dee and Sally, who one day decided to start their own country (after seeing Danny Wallace's BBC TV series). When they were working out all the...
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AndiFlatland
We have a symbol for 'at' - @. And we have 2 symbols for 'and' - +, &. Why don't we have one for 'the'? After all, it's probably the most frequently used word in just about every language. Make sense,...

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