Has Anyone Any Tactful Way Of Solving Our Problem....

[askyourgran]

We live on a quiet estate of bungalows mostly retired people, but in the semi next door to us is a young couple with two young children. The little girl is about 14months old and the little boy is probably 2 and a half. The couple are nice people but the children don't seem to sleep at all, the boy shouts and screams, shouting for his mother,at the top of his voice at all hours of the night and early morning. If the mother eventually goes in tells them to be quiet, then the boy screams for his father. At around 6am they will let the boy out he must be locked in his cot or something, he'll start running up and down the hallway shouting. It is horrendous three or four times at night every night. MrAsk is becoming irritable he has started knocking on the adjoining wall. During the daytime the boy will start screaming but the mother seems to have no control over him. She actually came out to her husband in the garden to ask him to help stop the boy from crying. This has gone on every night since we moved here. We did tell her that we could hear him crying, and she said it was night terrors and hoped he would grow out of it, but it isn't a fearful cry it is attention he seems to want What would you do?

[mazie]

My grandson has got a lot better gran....It's attention they need but when you have another child it's so difficult... You would be fine with him....just treat him like you did you own....Mum needs help and it's obvious Dad's not going to accept it. He's too young for any professional to commit to a diagnosis.... Give it a go. If it doesn't work out you've lost nothing. If you don't fancy having him in your home you could always go for a nice walk or to the park..... Good luck, I'll be thinking about you. I would love to think that if I wasn't there for my Daughter she would have a friend or neighbour that would help her out :o) xxx

[Mamyalynne]

There is no cure, there is however for each child a way of dealing with their issues (no two are the same) , some fear the dark to a pathological level , some fear certain pitches of noise others certain smells and textures and so on etc.

Once the parents know the triggers they can help their child cope and fit into society easier - it is a long slow road but doable.

[mazie]

We have each other Canary and he's much loved and knows it.... but thank you for your kind thoughts xx

[sherrardk]

My eldest daughter (9 years old) is having big problems with a child in her class who is clearly on the autistic spectrum - this has been on-going since they attended the same playgroup. I have been in again today (in tears) and the parents are only just coming to terms that their daughter has some issues that need addressing - her dad is a primary headteacher, of he can't accept it or recognise it then I can clearly see why others cannot either (although it must be very stressful for you).

[Mamyalynne]

Sherrardk and you are right to take that view - not wanting to believe may be understandable but it is doing that child no favours

The biggest lesson one teaches them is that Autism is absolutely no excuse for bad behaviour especially toward others. Once they get that message you are part way there.

[ummmm]

GPs don't diagnose autism. They need to be transferred to a specialist and it's not a one off visit.

[mazie]

It's not ummm...It takes years...we are still not there

[Mamyalynne]

It is increasingly difficult to get a diagnosis - you're right, years is not unusual at all.

[mazie]

It's such hard work. Unless you live with it, It's really hard to understand...But they are so precious and different. There are moments like diamonds that shine and make you smile like you're never going to stop!

[askyourgran]

Thank you mazie that is something I will think about now. I have never been a neighbour who pops in on anyone or even thought about inviting anyone, but if I thought it would help I would do that. She stays calm which amazes me and she was anxious for us to meet her children yesterday when we talked, but it was late, and after MrA's 'chat' with her partner we thought it woud be embarrassing.
Mamya that is something she mentioned, certain sounds and of course the night/darkness, he is 2 yrs 5months old so I suppose she is having to learn more about him as he grows older.

[mazie]

Awww. poor little mite. Good luck gran. I'll be thinking about you and please let us know how you get on xxxx

[Mamyalynne]

Oh, he's only little - yes if you can befriend him gently that would enrich his life.

[whiskeryron]

Buy the little chap one of these gran.

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[askyourgran]

That is great whiskyron, I was wondering what would be suitable for a little one, and his sister too!