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toilet problem

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Deore | 19:32 Tue 14th Oct 2003 | Body & Soul
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Ive got a bit of a problem. Basically I cant go to the toilet when another bloke is standing next to me. Ive never been able to do it as far as i can remember. even when drunk. Is there anyway i can cure this cos i realy bothers me.
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Is this an inferiority complex or maybe a superiority complex(I wish)? When you go out to the pub have your mates mentioned about how long you take. With separated urinals you shouldn't have a problem' as it is fairly obvious when next door is peeking. Or are you going to be sociable? Don't take that the wrong way, but have you noticed that when one woman wants' to go, they all do? I think it's so they can have a chat without us men hearing, tsk. So do you go on your own or with a mate?
I have heard about this, it is more a common problem among men than one would guess. It's a manifestation of social anxiety. It goes hand-in-hand with other forms of social anxiety and is treated by the same methods as those other forms. A psychologist or therapist would really help, if the problem is one that bothers you to a great extent, or there could be an online support-group. A regular doctor could refer you to a psychologist, or a little online research on "social anxiety [disorder]" would give you more information. I wish I could be of even more help than this.
Do you have any other problems in your life??? I never had this problem at all and actually found the idea quite funny, I am slightly better than averagely endowed (so i have been told) and thought this was at the root of this problem for others, until i was struck down with it for a good few months a while back.......I was able to link this as just being another symptom of a great deal of stress and depression that I was (and still am) having to cope with at the time.......I suppose you could try drinking a good few pints of water and getting a very good friend to stand there until you have to go? Though this may lead to9 a ruptured bladder if your extremely reluctant......talk about it to your GP and see if (s)he can put you in touch with a clinic that might help.
Toilet functions a biologically programmed as private. Any child in nappies will eventually 'hide' when filling their nappy, reappearing when finished. Most of us overcome this programming as adults - some don't, and you may be one of them. I wonder why it is such an issue - why not just pop into a stall and bolt the door - instant privacy. If anyone is noticing you do this - maybe they have a problem, not you - no-one is going to award you a gold star for urinating in front of strangers - just do what suits you, and forget about it.
The answer is cubical. Pretend you need a dump. Problem solved.
A bit of self hypnossis for you, as you approach the toilet/urinal count backwards (in your head) from 10 down to 1, arriving in place, ready to go on 1 and hey presto things will start to flow. Try it, it realy works. (Don't count to quick if there is a queue)
I'll just add it's about relaxation. Anxiety tenses you up, and unless your bladder and waterworks muscles are relaxed, you won't release your sphincter and whatever is there won't be released. You have to try some of the suggested ways to ultimately relax your lower half regardless of the circumstances until you get used to it naturally.
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