I'd like to be cremated the way Hindus are cremated, out in the open air, I hate confined spaces, despite the fact the I will have shuffled off the old mortal coil, the prospect of being in a box in a confined space ... gives me the shivers and I'd like Groucho Marx singing "Lydia the tattooed lady" and Beth Neilsen Chapman singing "Sand and Water" then everyone can go away and party! No one is to wear black either.