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Birthday Blues

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pips1 | 11:56 Thu 03rd Jul 2014 | Family Life
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My lovely daughter is 29 today and is a very caring, generous young lady. Once again there are no cards for her from my sister and 2 brothers and their families, this happens regularly although we never forget anyone else. She has lots of friends and her facebook is full of good wishes but surely just a card is not too much to ask is it?
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We are a close family but I didn't get cards from some people this year, cards don't necessarily indicate the esteem you are held in by someone and they're not really important, and it didn't bother me because on occasion I've forgotten to send cards too or haven't sent them on purpose because I might have had more pressing things to deal with. I mean if someone...
12:29 Thu 03rd Jul 2014
don't let it worry you, my daughter never gets cards from either side of the family, nor do we send them, like yours she has many friends who send good wishes, like they say you can choose your friends but not your family.
We are a close family but I didn't get cards from some people this year, cards don't necessarily indicate the esteem you are held in by someone and they're not really important, and it didn't bother me because on occasion I've forgotten to send cards too or haven't sent them on purpose because I might have had more pressing things to deal with. I mean if someone loves me and forgets to send a card, it's okay because they love me. If someone doesn't love me and doesn't send a card, it's still okay because them sending a card simply doesn't matter or make any difference. Try not to let it worry you, your daughter sounds great and you sound great so that's all that matters.
I'm meticulous about sending cards (my birthday book bears that out) but these days, if people don't want to send, they don't. It's not obligatory. If they don't care it's her birthday, why send a card offering wishes they don't really mean? I send cards to people (like my nephews and their wives) who never ever send one to me on my birthday. No big deal, IMO.
I wonder if this is annoying you more than her, she has a loving mother, what more does a girl need :) don't fret.
Do the family send good wishes on FB? Do they "do" cards in general? I guess I am asking whether there is any meaning behind the not sending to your daughter or whether its just not something they do.
Boy #1 is 14 tomorrow and will only get cards for us and his siblings. My dad has given me money for him but that's his lot (he has been spoilt by us though and will get to chose where to have his tea).
My daughter doesn't even get a card from her father! We are divorced but he never sends her anything.
I have four older siblings who, along with my father, made a point of not acknowledging my birthday. But I had and have lots of great friends. You don't choose your family.
Very few people receive cards from me, Nieces and Nephews once they've reached adulthood receive nothing.

If I know them on Facebook or have their mobile number I might send a message.

I am delighted to receive cards on my birthday but don't judge others by my own low standards.

Unless your daughter is upset I'd let it go.
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Thank you all for your comments, I suppose I just felt it as I always send cards to family. She did mention this morning how few cards she had before she went to work and I said 'the post hasn't been yet' so maybe she might be expecting some more, like you all said we can't choose our families. Her father stopped sending cards to her and my son years ago following a hurtful divorce and my family is quite small so it is a good job she is popular with her friends. Thank you for your nice words.
My brother & I don't send each other cards. We usually have a phone conversation around our birthday and one of us usually asks 'Guess where your card is? And the reply will be 'Still in the shop'
May I as a grandfather of 12 who takes birthdays seriously offer my birthday wishes to your lovely daughter

all the best Rick
Their problem, she sounds lovely. Very happy birthday to her xx
happy birthday wishes to your daughter pips. no point in saying how many cards she gets or don't get. just enjoy what she has got.
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Aah thank you Rick (muddlemuch) and everyone else! I have shown my daughter this thread and she thinks you are all lovely.

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