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Nonsense Poems

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AB Editor | 14:28 Thu 20th Jun 2013 | Arts & Literature
76 Answers
What's your favourite nonsense poem? I like the Jabberwocky.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.


"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

I wondered, besides Caroll, who is a good source of Nonsense Poems? I also wondered if there is a well known collection of English nonsense poems for kids?
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I don't know if it's a nonsense poem or not, but it's one I've loved for years. Although, I didn't know there was a lot more to it than this... One fine day in the middle of the night Two dead boys got up to fight Back to back they faced each other Drew their swords and shot each other One was blind and the other couldn't see So they chose a dummy for a referee A blind man...
14:44 Thu 20th Jun 2013
I'm sure someone's mentioned Ogden Nash higher up, and he's not really writing nonsense, just wacky rhyming words, but:

A panther is like a leopard
Except it hasn't been peppered.

Should you behold a panther crouch
Prepare to say ouch.

Better yet, if called by a panther
Don't anther.
Question Author
Excellent. Thank you all again.
Can highly recommend Roald Dahl's Rotten Rhymes.

It is a bunch of popular fairytales like Red Riding Hood etc rewritten by Dahl.

My girl just had it out of the library and really enjoyed it.
One fine day in the middle of the night
Two dead men got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other.
yours would surely be Best Answer, razza, except...
Ab Editor - if you are looking for nonsense and rhyming to appeal to a three year old child you might do worse than try the "Hairy McClary" books of Lynley Dodd. My grandkids adore them and find them hilarious. They read them over and over and get to chant the rhymes as you are reading to them.
Said the shark to the flying fish over the phone
'Will you join me tonite - I am dining alone. I can order a nice little dinner for 2 - you can come as you are in your shimmering blue.'
Said the flying fish 'Fancy remembering me and the dress that I wore to the porpoises tea.'
'How could I forget,' said the shark in his guile. 'I'll expect you at 8', and rang off with a smile.
She has powdered her nose, she has put on her things. She is off with one flip of her delicate wings.
Oh little one lovely light-hearted and vain, the world will not shine on your beauty again.

Probably not strictly speaking a nonsense poem but I learnt it as a child and love it.
Ooey-gooey was a worm.
A little worm was he
He walked onto a railroad track
And there a train did see.
Ooey - Gooey!
Will you walk into my parlour?" said the Spider to the Fly,
'Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy;
The way into my parlour is up a winding stair,
And I've a many curious things to shew when you are there."
Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "to ask me is in vain,
For who goes up your winding stair can ne'er come down again."


"I'm sure you must be weary, dear, with soaring up so high;
Will you rest upon my little bed?" said the Spider to the Fly.
"There are pretty curtains drawn around; the sheets are fine and thin,
And if you like to rest awhile, I'll snugly tuck you in!"
Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "for I've often heard it said,
They never, never wake again, who sleep upon your bed!"

Said the cunning Spider to the Fly, " Dear friend what can I do,
To prove the warm affection I 've always felt for you?
I have within my pantry, good store of all that's nice;
I'm sure you're very welcome -- will you please to take a slice?"
"Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "kind Sir, that cannot be,
I've heard what's in your pantry, and I do not wish to see!"

"Sweet creature!" said the Spider, "you're witty and you're wise,
How handsome are your gauzy wings, how brilliant are your eyes!
I've a little looking-glass upon my parlour shelf,
If you'll step in one moment, dear, you shall behold yourself."
"I thank you, gentle sir," she said, "for what you 're pleased to say,
And bidding you good morning now, I'll call another day."

The Spider turned him round about, and went into his den,
For well he knew the silly Fly would soon come back again:
So he wove a subtle web, in a little corner sly,
And set his table ready, to dine upon the Fly.
Then he came out to his door again, and merrily did sing,
"Come hither, hither, pretty Fly, with the pearl and silver wing;
Your robes are green and purple -- there's a crest upon your head;
Your eyes are like the diamond bright, but mine are dull as lead!"

Alas, alas! how very soon this silly little Fly,
Hearing his wily, flattering words, came slowly flitting by;
With buzzing wings she hung aloft, then near and nearer drew,
Thinking only of her brilliant eyes, and green and purple hue --
Thinking only of her crested head -- poor foolish thing! At last,
Up jumped the cunning Spider, and fiercely held her fast.
He dragged her up his winding stair, into his dismal den,
Within his little parlour -- but she ne'er came out again!

And now dear little children, who may this story read,
To idle, silly flattering words, I pray you ne'er give heed:
Unto an evil counsellor, close heart and ear and eye,
And take a lesson from this tale, of the Spider and the Fly.

The Spider and the Fly
Mary Howitt d 1888
The goldfish was a-swimming round, around the great big lake,
He said I want some chocolate, boys, I wants a chocolate cake,
He said I am so hungry, boys, that I will surely die,
So he ate the state of Texas and a maple pecan pie.

He swallowed up three shins of beef, he ate a leg of ham,
He thought that he was surely full, but then he ate a yam,
He loved that sweet potato taste and so he had some more,
And ate a spit-roast farmer’s ox as he’d done in days of yore.

Three wombats and a grizzly bear he swallowed one by one,
He ate a hefty hefalump, although it weighed a ton,
A vat of crisps and ginger bread, a stale week-old pork pie,
Two meatball cans, spaghetti hoops and a loaf of rye.

At last he cried, enough, enough, this is enough for me,
I have to stop the eating now, I’m going home for me tea.
Question Author
Thank you all again.
I love nonsense poems - there's a Spike one called Pippity Pip which used to amuse me but I've forgotten the words now!!! bet someone remembers - but think The owl and the pussycat is the best one - taught my first grandchild it.
Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear
Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair
So Fuzzy wuzzy wuzzy wasn't fuzzy wazzee

Half way up the nursery stair
I met a man who wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish that man would go away


Did you ever - No I never
See a monkey made of leather
Leather eyes leather nose
Leather right down to his toes


We're off we're off we're off in a motor car
60 miles an hour we don't know where we are
Going round the corner eating apple pie
A policeman said give us a bit
So I punched him in the eye (The kids love that one!!!)
anything by Spike Milligan
Question Author
When I took my zebra to Tesco
It got scanned by mistake at the till
How I wish I'd discovered the error
Before I'd settled the bill.

Patrick Winstanley


I must go down to the sea again,
to the lonely sea and the sky;
I left my shoes and socks there -
I wonder if they're dry?

Spike Milligan

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