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One guest overstaying-and two guests uninvited AND overstaying.

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crowdpleeser | 19:59 Fri 30th Dec 2005 | Body & Soul
9 Answers

A girl I met in summer asked me via email if she could stay at mine for the first night in london. After some thought, I replied, saying no because I wasn't sure if I would be in london. However, the night before she was supposed to come to london, I rang her, and said, yes, that I would be in london and she could stay at my house. I came to pick her up at 2am in the morning. She had 2 friends with her. She introduced me to them and then asked me how far it was to my house. I wasn't sure if her two friends were staying in a hostel somewhere, but as they tailed along with us. Long story short, they've been at my house two nights now, and last night they said they were making arrangements to find somewhere to stay. They said the same thing this afternoon. However, they've barely moved. So they are staying yet another night. I feel like my home and privacy hsa been invaded. I thought I was doing the girl a favour-but she took advantage by bringing two friends into my home, and staying longer than she said they would. How can I get rid of them, with the least conflict?I don't mind fabricating an excuse to get them to leave.

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I'd tell her something along those lines to be honest. Easier said than done, I know.


If she didn't mention having friends with her, then it's very unfair on you. She may say that you only said yes at the last minute and that her plans had changed since she first raised it with you, but the fact still stands that 'the first night in london' has now passed and she needs to get herself sorted as you are not totally comfortable with people you don't really know, in your home.


Not a conflict situation if you just tell them how it is. They said they'd be there for a night - it's now been two. Quite simple. And whilst you're very sorry it's an inconveniance for them to have to find somewhere, it's an inconveniance for you. They won't be out on their ear; hostels, hotels, b&bs etc. It won't kill them. You've got to stand up for yourself.


Good luck!!

Show them this thread.
Been here crowdpleeser and got the tee shirt !! Sorry you have this problem. Sounds like a typical case of freeloading to me. Do you have any good friends you can ring up and "pretend" to be going to stay with them so that you have the excuse you have to kick them out on the basis that you don't know these people well enough to leave them in your place on their own. The other alternatives are to have friends who are briefed to descend on you on the pretext of coming to stay on a pre-arranged visit. If neither of these two things are an option, I guess you'll just have to bite the bullet, tell this girl that you really hadn't been prepared to accept two uninvited extra guests, that you're really a solitary person who likes your personal space and that it's inconvenient for you to have them stay any longer. (You may have to rehearse this conversation int he privacy of you loo as I know it's not an easy one !). Oh and while you're at in, make sure you've completely run out of food (apart from a private store in your bedroom !) so they go hungry. As you're on the internet, before this conversation takes place you could try Googling Bed & Breakfast accommodation in your postcode and local area, print out the details and tell them to get on with it, giving them a deadline. Good luck !
Has she known these 2 friends long? Do you think they ar taking advantage or just don't know where to go? If so ask a couple of friends to turn up with a suitcase (s) saying they need a place a stay in front of them and tell the freeloaders you need for them to leave.
Why don't you just ask them for rent, first night free? That's not unreasonable and if you ask for enough they'll soon get the message and you'll get paid for the inconvenience, simple!

Be totally honest and open - what do you have to lose? They are the ones who are taking advantage, they are the ones who should feel unconfortable not you. Respect yourself and you own space - ask them to leave.


Don't worry about being rude. Tell them it's time for them to go. They're rude to do this to you.

Hi this is Cousin Will from Scotland. I shall be visiting you on New Years Day and need to stay a few nights. If you remember we arranged this in December.


If you wish I can send you an e mail saying that then they will have no option to leave. If you want contact me on [email protected] and we can fabricate a story. Ohh incidentally I am not really your cousin and I am not coming to visit you.



Cowboy

Oh Cowboy - everybody needs a good friend like you !!


Where were you a while ago when we were expecting one visitor from abroad and four of them turned up. They stayed for almost week before moving on, having arguments over the dinner table every night and even arguing over who was going to sleep in which bed.


Crowdpleeser - hope by now you've managed to move them on and have got your privacy back. . Change your phone number asap in case they're so thick skinned that they try it again in the summer. Keep us posted.

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One guest overstaying-and two guests uninvited AND overstaying.

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