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Essell | 10:30 Sun 07th Oct 2012 | Pets
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A little stray cat moved into my home in March. She is very nervous and still won't be picked up or come onto my knee, although she likes to be near to me. She is very clean and grooms herself, but still looks scruffy.
She has no idea how to play, had already been neutered, and is a bit scared of other cats, won't go out unless I am in the garden, although can be very aggressive if threatened.
Occasionally she vomits out hairballs, with quite a lot of undigested food !
I cannot groom her - she'd have me in pieces. I have tried to rub some white vaseline onto her paws but lost the fight :o). Anyone have any ideas please ?
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Cats throwing up furballs is perfectly normal unfortunately. If it's only occasional, there isn't anything to wory about healthwise - it's just not very nice for you to have to clear it up! The best thing is to try to increase her confidence in going out in the garden.
She is only being aggressive because she has no confidence and is frightened.
Try wrapping her in a towel or blanket so she can't get her clarws at you. Sit alone with her in a quiet room and talk to her perhaps have a few small cat treats to give her while you are talking to her. Try this for a short while every day I am sure you will win her round .
A lot of cat biscuits have hair ball digester added to them so try feeding them or get a hair ball gel from the pet shop a place the recommended amount on her food. I do this for my long haired and it works wonders.
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Thankyou for your speedy answers and advice. I have tried to wrap her in a towel but she flies away and cowers. I did not know you can get a food gel and will seek one out somewhere FGTomato - what is it called ?

I have to admit I worry more about this little animal than I did about my children.. She will come and touch me with a paw, sitting looking up, but has eaten well, will not play, and will not be petted. So I sit wondering what on earth she can be trying to tell me. She hates being outside but when she hears me getting the car from the garage she insists on coming out and will sit on the doorstep until I return. In other words she will not stay in the house if I am not there, even though she scared.

She sleeps a lot. The vet says she is OK but should be out all night. This I just cannot do because she cries. I do not speak Cat. Any further advice would be most welcome.
Go cat does a dry food called indoors the gel is available from pets at home or any good pet shop. I am confused as to why your vet says the poor cat should be out all night?
We were told never, ever to put our cat out at night. I would question why your vet told you this.
I live with four cats one of whom is very timid and nervous and hates being groomed (total nightmare it takes the three of us - one to hold, one with treats and one to actually comb!) Maybe you could try keeping her indoors, leave an empty cardboard box around, (not too deep) and chances are she'll get inside it and just stay there, all of ours love boxes even carrier bags (which is to be discouraged) I'm afraid all you can really do is have lots of patience and treat her kindly she will eventually learn to trust you and feel safe I'm still having trouble with Lou but she's coming around and sits and snuggles into to me and she also lets me know when she wants her ears tickled or just stroked, so far it's been 4 years and while she comes to me she quite often runs away. Patience, you'll need lots of patience
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Again thankyou all. The vet told me that no self respecting wild cat would be abroad in daylight, that they hunt at night, and that cats are nocturnal animals. She told me to have a little kennel outside where Lucy could keep warm and hunt when and where she wanted. This is a very rural area and vets are more used to dealing with farm stock or wild animals.

When this little cat came she had been roaming this area for some weeks, living on mice, but none of the locals would take her in. At first she would bring mice in for her dinner, and leave an odd one for me, on the rug, as my treat :o). I suppose that is why the vet told me to put her out.
Essell all I can say is that it will take time and patience but it will be OK. She is obviously happy living with you or she wouldn't stay and cats are very very good at letting you know what they want. The more she learns to trust you, the more she will let you do for her. If you are feeding her correctly her coat will improve and if she is grooming herself it should stay knot free. Will she let you gently brush her or is that a step too far at the moment? When she pats your hand, try just putting your hand down next to her and see if she rubs her head against it as that is what mine expects me to do. Is your vet old? I am horrified that a vet has told you to put her out all night as that is the last place she should be. The RSPCA and animal rescue organisations all advise keeping cats in at night as they are more likely to get killed after dark than any other time of day. Besides they mostly go on a killing spree of our small mammals and birds. Your cat seems to have more sense than your vet.
Good luck with her and good for you for taking her in and giving her a home.
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I am so relieved that Lucy can stay in at night - I had even been considering putting her out and setting an alarm, to let her in two hours later :o). I am not a saint - the RSPCA could not take her so I had no option. The vet is not old - about 30-40 but of course I have not asked her - she might charge me more !!!

I just tried to put my hand down when she patted me but she ducked. however I will try everything that has been suggested. I wonder if Lucy is lonely and whether I should get a kitten from RSPCA for company for her ? Lucy can be very bad tempered and stalk away but it might be better if she had a friend ?
Does anyone think this would work? I felt I might as well be in for a penny as a pound. Is it too soon, or would it be better to do it now, or perhaps not at all ...two hairballs instead of one !!! Thankyou all for your patient advice.
Personally I wouldn't risk it because it could frighten her away altogether. I would continue to be patient with her for a while yet. She may not like other cats and if they don't get on then you've got even more of a problem. But that's just my opinion and others may think differently. I wouldn't close the door on getting a companion cat but not a the moment. Most cats are happy to be the only cat unless they have been brought up with another which isn't the case here. Keep putting your hand down to her as a response when she pats you. Do it slowly and gently and don't touch her. Just leave your hand there and she will come if and when she wants to. Poor little girl has had a bad start in life so patience is the key. Good luck.
You could buy a plug in called Feliway,this could help to calm her,i assume as you can't touch her,she isn't treated against fleas? Good luck.x
Took me several years of patience to win the confidence of a stray that turned up in my garden one day. Called her Taffy because she was the spitting image of the cat called Taffy on the Whiskas Oh So Fishy ads that were on at the time. The fact that I couldn't get near her for so long meant she wasn't spayed, and I ended up getting her numerous litters of kittens tamed and homed long before I got her full confidence.
I have two cats who are sibling and their characters are very different. They all have their odd traits.

Check out this website to reassure yourself that you are doing things properly. http://www.fabcats.org/behaviour/index.php

My lady cat sits at the side of my bed saying "eek" - with big blank eyes and no sign that she actually needs anything. 5 years of her doing this has not helped me (a mere human) work out what she is saying. Humans are just not intelligent enough to understand the workings of the feline mind.

Good luck.
If she is comfortable being in at night and you are happy for her to be in keep her in - try the furball biscuits and gel.

as previous mentioned the feliway is brill and works but it does cost - you can also get a spray, as mentioned get her a box or cat basket that she can go to so she feels safe and give it a spray of feliway.

Also when she has your trust you can get a grooming mit which slips in over your hand and its just like you are stroking her.

I would NOT get another cat - it appears that she will be happy be a one cat family and you may lose her all together if you bring another one into the household.

Good luck and keep us updated xx
You could give Seren'um drops a try mixed in with her food. I use them on Smoke for bonfire night etc. They don't knock him out but leave him very relaxed - like he's been mainlining catnip!
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Well I am now much more relaxed and confident. I had a heart to heart with Lucy this morning and told her I would no longer try to persuade her go out, and that she need not fear being harrassed with Mark 2 version, because I have taken advice from the wise . She didn't answer - not even to say Eek :o) Then I left a piece of catnip in the tunnel in the carpet rug where she was hiding, and left her to dribble over it with pleasure.

In response - the vet treated her for fleas Catgirl, but have bought some more just in case.
The grooming glove sounds good. Gloves are goodie goodie - they mean we are going out to garden and roll in the borders so I will try those in time .
And I started a seed bed of catnip in the summer .

I will update you when we have made some progress and am just off to read the fabcat site sent by Wolf.

Best wishes to you and all your cats.

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