A couple of my old favourites

chrisrob | 21:47 Fri 13th Apr 2012 | Jokes

2 Answers

Dylan is in a queue at the Supermarket when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and is giving him a big 'hello' .
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although her face is vaguely familiar, Dylan can't place where he might know her from, so he says, 'Sorry, do you know me?'
She replies, 'I may be mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children'
Dylan's mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, 'Blimey!' he says, 'Did we meet on Frank's stag do in Newport? Dylan continued, 'When I got out of the police station and got back to the hotel room you had gone.'
No, 'she replies, 'I'm your son's English Teacher'.

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A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious someone was at home but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. He took out a card and wrote, “Revelation 3: 20” on the back of it and pushed it through the letter box.

When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found his card had been returned. Added to it was the cryptic message, “Genesis 3: 10”. Reaching for his bible, to check the citation, he broke into gales of laughter.

Revelation 3: 20 begins, “Behold I stand at the door and knock.”

Genesis 3: 10 reads, “I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked.”