Really strange disturbing dream!

[icemaiden]

Lost my Dad just over a year ago now. Had a very surreal dream last night that he rang me and said "Don't worry, the car is still in my name!". And that my Step-mother broke in to my house and dropped off all the items I would like back that mean nothing to her.

I guess I was subconciously thinking about what has gone on since he passed away. Step-mother has disowned me and my daughter since he passed (because I requested a copy of the Will from the solicitors) and I am upset that I have nothing here that's sentimental to me of Dads. She even has photos of me when I was younger with my Mum and Dad and she won't reply to my emails when I ask her for them.

"Sigh". I really don't want to feel sad today.
:0(

[icemaiden]

Oh and it would have been his 64th Birthday yesterday so he was on my mind more than usual.

[ummmm]

It's my Dads anniversary tomorrow. I've had the dread in the pit of stomach for days :-(

Why don't you get a solicitor to write to her? She had no rights in keeping personal photos. The photos are proof alone that she's not entitled to keep them...

Thoughts are with you xx

[tinkerbell23]

Its obviously playing on your mind- thats really awful :0(

You should do something about the photots at least - why does she even need to keep them!....

Chin up ...you too ummmm xxxxxxx

[Kiki-frog]

That is so poignant, icemaiden, I'm getting quite tearful for you! It's a few years since my mum and dad died, and they still appear in dreams saying cryptic things.

I would guess that your step-mother's response to your wanting a copy of the will was very much a knee-jerk reaction at a time when you were both raw with grief. Now that a year has passed, might she respond more positively if you tried again - maybe with something more personal than an email, such as a phone call or a handwritten letter? If you feel strong enough, of course.

It seems such a shame to have to go to a solicitor, but if you really can't talk to her in any other way, then it might have to come to that.

I hope it works out for you, I really do. x

[icemaiden]

Thanks everyone for your very kind words. It really helps.

-Sadly, I really don't have any spare money to get a solicitor involved. It could go on for so long. I did ask her three times for a copy of the Will before I went to the solicitors. I was shocked that she wrote to say she didn't want anymore to do with us. My daughter was and still is devastated.

Thoughts are with all that have lost loved ones. XXX

[icemaiden]

Kiki-frog-A Hand written letter is a good idea. We are so used to emails but they are certainly less personnal. Thanks

[icemaiden]

Absolutely 2shortplanks. xx

[Kiki-frog]

icemaiden, I keep mulling this one over because my mother-in-law has broken off contact with her late husband's children from his first marriage, for no other reason than they remind her of him and she can't face the pain of seeing them. (It's a silly situation to have got into, not least because my husband still gets on really well with his step-sisters!)

But the point is that it's because of her pain and grief that she's being so silly. Do you think your step-mother might be doing something similar? It may well be that as soon as there's an email in her inbox from you, she deletes it without even opening it. Cos that's exactly what my mum in law does.

I would have no qualms about pulling out all the stops as far as emotional blackmail is concerned and putting everything in handwriting, maybe even enclosing something from your daughter if you feel it would be appropriate. She'll be more likely to open an envelope than an email, I think.

Good luck, and let us know how you get on.
x

[icemaiden]

Kiki-frog- I agree that this is a direct result of her grief as we had a very good relationship before Dad passed. She has no family of her own at all so we were really all she had. I look very much like my Dad so I can understand that side of it too. But at the same time, I am not my Dad, I just have his genes.

I will talk to my daughter later because I think it really is a good idea to write to her in person. I won't be grovelling or apologising because I don't believe have done nothing wrong. but I do miss her and I know my daughter does too. If she doesn't respond then will look in to appointing a solicitor and see how much it costs.

Thank you all

[ummmm]

It's difficult. I haven't been in my dads house since the day he died...and that was 4 years ago! Grief does strange things to people....and a year is still early days. Really early days!! I know it's no comfort to you at the moment, but there is a chance the old cliché 'time is a healer' will come into play...

[icemaiden]

Great idea triggerhappy but to be really honest I'm a bit worried to go up there and see her face to face. I wouldn't want my daughter to be traumatised anymore than she already has been.

Oh ummmm. I hope time will bring her round. We both miss her.

[ummmm]

Do that Ice...tell her you miss her xxx