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i feel awful...

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leanne_1987 | 18:37 Mon 08th Aug 2011 | Parenting
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my daughter is 3 and half but an extemely fussy eater, today i did rice and chicken for tea and sat at the table to eat it with her, she sat and refused out right crying in the end after 45 mins i said have one mouthful and you can get down from the table, so that is what she did, shes ust had a bath and got out asking for cake i told her no and that she could have porridge for supper but she refused and cried herself to sleep... i really cant take it anymore, i dont know what to do, somedays all she eats is dry bread and a few grapes.. shes loosing weight and i've been to doctors and seen the health visitor with no help!
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I really feel your pain! My daughter was exactly like that when she was just 13mths and it went on til she was almost 3. Like you I tried everything and nothing worked. She too went 3 days without eating anything after I refused to give her what she wanted but when your child is weak, crying and obviously hungry but still not even trying other foods you know there is a bigger problem. She would only eat sausage rolls, chicken nuggets, toast and yoghurts (she wouldnt even eat majority of choc bars/treats as they were unfamiliar). Everytime there was something else on the plate she would freak out and if it touched the food she did eat she would gag. I went to GP and she got referred to the child psychologist but this did take ages and in the meantime with nurseries help things gradually started to improve. I always had people telling me she was just a faddy eater and not to gie in but it is not as simple as that is it? What worked for me was persuading her to literally eat say 1 pea or a small piece of carrot etc everyday. When she did she got such praise, reward and encouragement. This was a very long slow process but then progressed into her trying lots of different things, very tiny amounts at first but being firm about the 1 mouthful then not making any fuss about eating more. I would say it took well over a month before she then had smaller portions of 'normal' food and she just got better and better and at 7 is now fine. She never got the appointment through with the psychologist in time so I never experienced what him/her would have done.I hope you sort this out, good luck.
This is about control, she knows you get stressed about her food and she is using that for attention. I had a brother who would only eat baked beans and Mum took him to the doctor. that doctor was wonderful, he said that if he wanted to eat baked beans, give him baked beans, he will want other things and his diet will be fairly balanced. He is now 56 (put on some weight though!) and can't stand baked beans!
Give her what she wants, but hide healthy food in the dishes. Chop up partly cooked carrots and courgette etc in her food, she won't know the difference. Once she starts school she will eat better as she will want those things her friends eat!
Just your read your post about poo. Lots of children get scared doing a poo, it seems as if parts of their body are coming out. I had a nephew who would go white in the face rather than poo, then have a terrible accident. Try not to make a fuss about things. If she starts, just walk away and let her get on with it. She won't starve! As for being underweight. I was always thin as a rake, wish I was now!!
Hi leanne.
Can I just add, have you had your daughter checked out for an anal fissure?
My daughter who was around 3 also, was scared to poo. When I went to the gp turned out she had an anal fissure. Very painful for her. The gp prescribed some cream ( sorry, can't remember the name) and within a week or so she was pooing no problem. I remember her saying it felt better!

Not saying that this is the problem but may be worth mentioning.
I think you need a referral from your GP to the Paediatric department to try to get some advice.
You seem to have tried everything you can with no effect.
The paediatricians should either treat or rule out any physical problems, then , if necessary, refer on to the Child Psychologists.
If it is of any help to you, the son-and-heir ate only plain rice, plain pasta, peas, chips and Petit Filous (and an occasional tomato) from about age 3.5 until about age 13. He's now 25 fit and well enjoying his life. He didn't have the poo problems, though.
My little one had a problem with pooing. She done her first poo in the potty, saw it and thought she had made a mess and she was scared to poo again.

It got to the point where she'd lie on the floor with her legs in the air till holding it in for as long as she could. she'd scream if i put her on the toilet, i tried to be calm and leaving her but it was awful watching her.

My health visitor said each time she lies on the floor or shows sign of her needing a poo to say its poo time, go to the toilet if she cried or jumped off pull up her pants let her down then if she left the bathroom and lay down with her legs in the air straight after to do it all again, tell her its poo time. after a few days of this she got over her fear
does she get bloated or anything? i was reading an article in a magazine at the hospital yesterday and a young boy had a bloated belly but had the opposite where he was always having diarrhoea (spelling)

It turned out he was allergic to kiwis, bananas, milk and wheat and he was actually constipated but was haivng a reaction so not everything came out but was making it look like he had permanent diarrhoea

have they done any allergy testing?

i remember reading about another mother/granny I cant remember about them being very worring about their childs eating and the young girl was very light but the health visitors weren't even worried or bothered by the girl never eating
how did you get on with the doctor?
Leanne make something special for her get her to help you to cook it! Always seems to do the trick! If it doesnt work create a food menu for her with all the pictures of the food! She can choose one drink, one main meat, one veggie & one bread/wheat/potato etc product! THIS works good also!

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