Would You Be Speaking To My Friend In My...
Family & Relationships2 mins ago
Atheist getting married in church
32 Answers
We were talking last night about the future, etc and weddings came up. He asked me where I would want to get married and as an atheist, I said I would feel a bit hypocritcal getting married in a church but it does form part of that dream wedding idea you have from childhood.
What do you think about atheists getting married in a church?
What do you think about atheists getting married in a church?
Answers
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Pixi, I love mosques and I love the chants for prayers that echo over towns. The best flight I ever took was to Australia on a moslem airline where there were prayers at take off and landings and during the flight.
I find them so calming. And waking up to the sound of those mosque chants/prayers was wonderful.
I am not religious by the way!
I find them so calming. And waking up to the sound of those mosque chants/prayers was wonderful.
I am not religious by the way!
ha ha. I might look up the availability of Westminster Abbey.
Exactly Pixi - I think when you are young you are conditioned to believe that weddings happen in Churches so that's where you should get married.
I might aswell get married in Mosque. The meaning of that would be the same as the meaning of getting married in a church. lol.
Exactly Pixi - I think when you are young you are conditioned to believe that weddings happen in Churches so that's where you should get married.
I might aswell get married in Mosque. The meaning of that would be the same as the meaning of getting married in a church. lol.
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My situation is a little unusual.
My wife is a Catholic, and her two girls were raised as Catholics.
My wife had her first marriage annulled - this means that it is 'cancelled' by the Pope - literally, it has to have his approval. That means that in the eys of the Catholic Church, my wife has not been married before - even though she has two children from that marriage! That meant that when we got married, we were able to marry in our parish church - full Nuptial Mass - con-celebration (two priests) the whole nine yards, with the girls as bridesmades.
In my view, this is a perfect illustration of the ability of the Catholic Church to close its eyes to what it prefers not to see.
As preparation for the wedding, because I am not Catholic, I had to produce a copy of my babptism certificate to prove baptism, even though it was not a Catholic baptism, my parents were C of E.
I had to go for two 'chats' with our priest Father Tolkien (son of J.R.R.) about raising as Catholics any children from our marriage - and giving an assurace to that effect.
i am an aetheist, but I have no issue with my wife's faith, or with raising our third daughter as a Catholic - which we did. Father Tolkien never asked me if I believed in God, so it was never a question I had to wreslte with - not the question, but whether to lie to a priest or not. I think he knew my stance, and preferred to ignore it, and avoid any contention - again the Church is able to avoid such uncoomfrotable sitatuons when it chooses.
To answer your question - I married in church because my wife wanted it, and it was no problem to me. If neither of you believe, and feel uncomdrtable, then i would go, as suggested, with a civil ceremony in a nice venue - which will avoid you feeling uncomfrtable in any way.
My wife is a Catholic, and her two girls were raised as Catholics.
My wife had her first marriage annulled - this means that it is 'cancelled' by the Pope - literally, it has to have his approval. That means that in the eys of the Catholic Church, my wife has not been married before - even though she has two children from that marriage! That meant that when we got married, we were able to marry in our parish church - full Nuptial Mass - con-celebration (two priests) the whole nine yards, with the girls as bridesmades.
In my view, this is a perfect illustration of the ability of the Catholic Church to close its eyes to what it prefers not to see.
As preparation for the wedding, because I am not Catholic, I had to produce a copy of my babptism certificate to prove baptism, even though it was not a Catholic baptism, my parents were C of E.
I had to go for two 'chats' with our priest Father Tolkien (son of J.R.R.) about raising as Catholics any children from our marriage - and giving an assurace to that effect.
i am an aetheist, but I have no issue with my wife's faith, or with raising our third daughter as a Catholic - which we did. Father Tolkien never asked me if I believed in God, so it was never a question I had to wreslte with - not the question, but whether to lie to a priest or not. I think he knew my stance, and preferred to ignore it, and avoid any contention - again the Church is able to avoid such uncoomfrotable sitatuons when it chooses.
To answer your question - I married in church because my wife wanted it, and it was no problem to me. If neither of you believe, and feel uncomdrtable, then i would go, as suggested, with a civil ceremony in a nice venue - which will avoid you feeling uncomfrtable in any way.
Pixi, I have been in the Sultan of Brunei's personal mosque. I was staying as a guest of someone who worked for him (construction industry) and had a private tour round. I did make the mistake of standing on the prayer carpet. Even in my bare feet this was just not on!!
The Sultan had his personal escallator to the entrance - only he can travel on it!!
The Sultan had his personal escallator to the entrance - only he can travel on it!!
ha ha Pixi. I'm just picturing your inner fear of taking your boots off to find you have worn manky old socks.
Andy, that kind of confirms what I thought. Even though I was never chistened (bf was) I don't imagine I would find it too hard to get the permission to be married in a church. I've always sort of had the feeling a blind eye will be turned if it's suits. I've also heard the rules are a bit more lenient these days as it's becoming less common for people to get married in a church, so the church opens it arms to a wider group of people in the hope it brings them in.
Andy, that kind of confirms what I thought. Even though I was never chistened (bf was) I don't imagine I would find it too hard to get the permission to be married in a church. I've always sort of had the feeling a blind eye will be turned if it's suits. I've also heard the rules are a bit more lenient these days as it's becoming less common for people to get married in a church, so the church opens it arms to a wider group of people in the hope it brings them in.
There are some wonderful venues for civil weddings.,,,old gothic halls, castles, caves, google national show caves theres one that has an underwater waterfall and a lake , but at the moment civil weddings have to be held indoors but they are in the process of changing this to allow for weddings on beaches, in gardens etc
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Amazing place Pixi. That was 11 years ago and I believe it is getting more tourism now. I was lucky to be staying with a family who lived there and got shown around properly to places where tourists don't usually get to. I consider myself very lucky. Used Brunei as a stopover to and from Australia, so had a week there in total. It was the during the Sultan's birthday celebrations so even more lavish than usual.
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