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been living with my bf for 6 yrs and he still not readyy to move out?

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Amber11 | 18:29 Mon 07th Mar 2011 | Family Life
53 Answers
hello my bf is 25 as well as i am and been living together in his parents house and his whole family for more than 5yrs now..His 3 younger brothers (15 16 18) his sisters (12 21) and his 2 parents. His brothers have always been mean to me i would b in my room always minding my own bussiness and they always slam the door open and start throwing dirty sucks at me and apples . one time his mother had to take me out of the house because they woudnt leave me alone. another time they hit me with an apple in my eye and caused me a nose bleed...Ived cooked for this kids am always nice to them even thou hey put me thru hell and they still continue to make my life miserable..My bf knows all this n will tell them to stop but they will still bother me again...Me and him often will end up in a fight bcuz of his bothers bcuz i keep telling him that i want to move out but he says we are not financially stable but even if we were i dont think he would move out bcuz of he being so close with his fam...i dont know what to do anymore i feel mad at my bf bcuz its like he doesnt understand how happy i am there..Its like he doesnt see how much it sucks being picked at bcuz is not that to him..i dont know wat to do..please someone give me some advice and thank u for taking the time to read this.
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Avatar Image DTCwordfan
in what time frame amber - set a drop date for this as he may try and wriggle out of it. No excuses
22:38 Mon 07th Mar 2011
Avatar Image dotty.
why not teach the little toerags how to make apple crumble? How bizarre to throw fruit at someone, they sound like morons, chuck a couple of bramley bakers back at em and say 'how'd you like them apples?'
22:39 Mon 07th Mar 2011
Avatar Image bloomwood
Show him this thread,might make him realise how unhappy you have been. I really wish you well. x
22:41 Mon 07th Mar 2011
Avatar Image boxtops
..and make sure, amber, that if you get your own place, it IS your own place, and not open house for his brothers and sisters to follow him to... one set of keys for you and one for him, no family keys. Good luck to you both.
22:43 Mon 07th Mar 2011
Avatar Image society
Is he contributing financial support his parents?

He told you those 'things' before. Whose to say he's now serious? If you don't make the first move you'll get nowhere.
22:48 Mon 07th Mar 2011
Avatar Image DaisyNonna
Talk is cheap. So are kisses. Move out. If he is not grownup enough now to leave his family, he never will be. Find someone who is prepared to appreciate you. He obviously does not.
22:50 Mon 07th Mar 2011
Avatar Image askyourgran
Amber sweetheart I'm glad you are happy for now. In a couple of months time please come back and tell us how much effort he is making towards you moving out and being together. I would love to hear that you have a place to go to together, but somehow I have a feeling this is just what you want to hear from him, and things are not about to change.
22:51 Mon 07th Mar 2011
Avatar Image Amber11
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Thank u guys so much for all of ur advice..Your all really been so nice to me by taking the time to read about my problem and comment back u guys really have helped me a lot in this time of need. I asked him again are u sure ur not just saying this to calm me down and he said no but its gonna take sometime to save up all that money and i told him well what if we have it in 4 or six months can we move out then and he said of course i love i want u to be happy :)
22:54 Mon 07th Mar 2011
Avatar Image arwyn
I hope it works out for you Amber, let us know how things go. Good luck x
23:04 Mon 07th Mar 2011
Avatar Image DTCwordfan
Don't let him become complacent about doing this.....start planning and buying what you need to set up your love nest.......
23:06 Mon 07th Mar 2011
Avatar Image karenmac60
Set up a joint savings account and both of you start putting a set amount in every month. That way you know he's actually making an effort to save and not just saying he is but frittering his money away on computer games. It also means you have something solid to look at in 6 months time when he says you can't afford it - show him the bank statements and say 'yes we can'. If he still refuses, take your half of the savings and get your own place. Good luck x
00:52 Tue 08th Mar 2011
Avatar Image joko
be pro-active - look for flats, circle ads, get leaflets about rent, electricty etc whatever...show them all too him, show him you mean it
00:30 Sat 19th Mar 2011
Avatar Image lady-janine
disagree with karen - definitely no joint account or you will be the only one putting anything into it and he will be taking out your money to spend.
11:46 Fri 25th Mar 2011

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