How dya move on

[Kaylz1988]

Hey guys! Missed ya all. Well as you all know broke up with ma fella. Really missing him thoug :-(. I dunno if its him Im missing or just the routine! You know what I mean. Anyways... How do you ABers deal with break ups? Whats the best way? I ended up in hosp last week coz I collapsed from not eating for a week. Completley lost my appetite! I really would like to meet a nice guy. Who would treat me how I treated my ex... :) any suggestions guys???? xxxx

[MrBen5]

Hmmm, best thing to do is keep yourself busy. Try not hang around with your mates too much though, as they always tend to ask if your ok and start annoying you even more by saying 'there are plenty more guys out there'.
What i did was think of the bad stuff and try to block out the good times.
It will be really hard for you for a few weeks/months , but you should get through.
Get yourself a dog or cat for company. They are more trustworthy and will always want your attention.
You will meet someone else though, but only when you have got over your ex. And that will be many months away...

[redhead23]

Hi , firstly look at this site and order the book - its a fab tool in making sense of things and keeping you busy
http://www.randomhouse.com/broadway/breakup/it scalledabreakup.htm
also get rid of all txts , presents , phone numbers ,

write a list of all his negatives from his mates to his dog breath in the morning

keep busy , keep active , EAT , and then mabye do soem speed dating or some newspaper dating just to get u back into the swing of things

IT IS HARD , BUT YOU DO COME THROUGH IT , OFTEN LOOKING BACK AND THINKING WHY THE HELL WAS I EVER WITH HIM ! GOOD LUCK , BUT BUY THE BOOK ITS WIOCKED

[4getmenot]

hello there, sorry to hear you've not been feeling right. Did you go on holiday?
I guess when I split up from my ex, I just found things to keep me busy, swimming, Pub, aerobics, girly night. You will soon forget its early days. And soon you�ll get that man you truly deserve, and the ex wont even cross your mind. xx
Are you still trying to be mates because that does not work when you still have feelings like this

[Kaylz1988]

We tried it for a while, but last night I told him I dont want nothing to do with him. Its just so mad how it all happened. I broke up with him, then he begged me back! I took him back things still hadnt changed and he broke up with me! So I'm finding that difficult. He says he doesnt want to be in a relationship right now but he wants me and him to settle down in a year or twos time. So much cud hapen in that time, he cud meet sum1 else, 4get bout me. He says that he is not going to get in another relationship, anything he gets into will just be based on sex. No strings attached, no emaotional attachment, no taking gals out just sex!!!!

[Kaylz1988]

Ooo just looked at the book. Looks gud. On amazon now, just about to buy it xx thanks

[4getmenot]

if he wants to be with you in a couple of years he would be with you now!! Its seems to me and all this stuff he keeps doing with his mates where he's leaving you out that he wants life with his mates at the moment and in a couple of years when they might grow up and get girlfriends themselves he'll be left alone so he wants you to fall back on. I know its upsetting but the only way is to stay away from eachother and yes get rid of his number. I have been with my new bloke 3 months now and I do still think of ex when on my own, but he doesnt even cross my mind when I'm with friends or my bloke. He does text and say he now realises he loved me but you know what we tried so many times and it just didnt work. We were fine on out own but with his mates involved it was horrible and I was always trying to fit in, I shouldnt need to feel that way at all. You need to get out and dont give in, you cannot put your life on hold for him.

[4getmenot]

Do you see him treating you any differently in the future?

[4getmenot]

Oh and if the man I wanted to be with had a break to go have sex with other girls I wouldnt want him back.

[Kaylz1988]

I dont know for sure if it would be different. But where we've been together for almost three years we were so young when we got 2gether. I think we haven't had the chance to be young. We've been in an "adult relationship since the age of 15/16! So maybe in a couple of years when we've matured we'll understand eachother better??? x

[4getmenot]

so you really do think you could get back with him after not knowing what he's been up to last two years. Im sorry to say but in that 2 years he will move on but so will you. Me and the ex were seeing eachother on and off for 10 years and although its hard to think of all those great memories and that we'll never do anything like that again, in the end I cried more than laughed with him and I never want to be that way again

[Kaylz1988]

I dont know, I really dont. I just know that I love him and really want to be with him. Im a walking mess at the moment lol... keep crying. I want to just pick up the phone and call him! :-(

When we break up he always comes back, he ends up missing me and wants me back. But I dont know thats the case this time.

[4getmenot]

but he does that because you let him. He cant keep treating you this way. You deserve alot more than just being someone who's there when he wants. Because as far as I can tell he's never there when you need him.

[Kaylz1988]

You no what... your so right! I need to just let it go... I am going to. Its hard but Im going to try! Im not going to contact him or anything. Hopefully i'll meet mr right like you have :-)

Its true... you should leave the past behind. Whats the point of going back to sumfink that didnt work in the first place.

[4getmenot]

believe me I do sit there and think what ifs and then I see all the bad things he did.
Listen to this song, be strong and show him who's boss.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-lgHRzieNg

You will be alright. xxx

[4getmenot]

If in 2 years time you both feel same way and things are better then maybe it was meant to be but carry on your life with just you at the moment, don�t even put him in the equation.

[Kaylz1988]

:-D Fanx man xxxxxxx

[4getmenot]

Anytime. Be Strong. xx

[redhead23]

dont go back mate , u want to watch he is using condoms , and not putting u at risk , dotn be 2nd place to anyone , how dare he suggest that he may come back to you when it suits HIM , he sounds like a jerk and i think u are well rid of him and i mean that

if he was that keen and i know this sounds harsh , eh would be with you now no matter what he is going through , but i think u know that , its broken down at least twice , forget the rat xx