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Angry Letter!

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Barmaid | 20:13 Thu 31st Mar 2022 | ChatterBank
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I have had a 14 month battle with a utility company. Having thought it was sorted at the end of last month, they have now sent yet another letter which indicates it is most definitely not sorted and we are back to square one. I think it may well have pushed me over the edge.

I shall write them a strongly worded complaint, explaining in simple terms the facts. Again.

However, I am now tossing phrases around my head which I would like to (but wouldn't) use such as:-

You cannot manage stupid
Do you train people to be this incompetent or do you simply employ ex MPs?
Strategically shaven monkey
You sent four men to look in a hole in the ground; I spent several hours wondering when the Indians might turn up to look in the right hole in the ground.
You couldn't run a tap
The rudeness of your ground staff is eclipsed only by the incompetence of your office staff -(may use this one)

What are your dream insulting phrases for a stinging letter of complaint? Cheer me up, fgs. I'm about to lose another hour of my life writing a letter which will be disregarded/misunderstood/lost/pointless.

(And it is day 476 of keeping the cat in cos he has some fighting injuries and is on antibiotics. OK, so it is day 5, it just feels like day 476).
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there would appear to be an entire county with villages missing one of their inhabitants, therefore I presume you have employed them all. (just answering the OP :-) )
21:38 Thu 31st Mar 2022
that is what we are triggering, it's a property issue with an ex tenant concerning delipidation and maintenance...... a very close friend of mine and a property lawyer who was an Irwin Mitchell partner has advised us on similar lines to what you said, Barmaid.....I put it in more 'general speak' but each 'so-called' service has such procedures, though they can substantially differ in process.
there would appear to be an entire county with villages missing one of their inhabitants, therefore I presume you have employed them all.

(just answering the OP :-) )
Barmaid - out of interest, which is the utility company, and what, roughly, is the problem? In the past few years by writing concise, clearly worded letters of complaint I've had a resolution of problems and apologies from Npower (twice, both times with £50 of the next bill) and Severn Trent, again with £50 off the next bill.

I think the key is to keep it civil - though strongly worded- clearly state the facts and set out exactly what you want the outcome to be. Don't let them win, and do not give up! Good luck.
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GoodGoalie - its the water company and its to do with an alleged dual supply to our property. I have no problem writing factual, succinct and unemotive letters (I draft this sort of stuff for a living).

I am just beside myself with the fact that I thought I had sorted it after a meeting on 17 Feb and now they are writing more stupid letters. I am struggling to understand how they could be so dumb. Although in fairness, their opening gambit last January should have indicated how this might play out with their surveyor being so rude to Mr BM he had to walk off and telling me "not to worry my pretty head" about such matters. How I didn't go postal at that comment, I shall never know - but it was the subject of a formal complaint which was upheld.
Thanks, Barmaid. That remined me of {i]another[i] £50 from last year which I got from Thames Water - funnily enough I do pay two water charges: to them and to Severn Trent.

Having had estimated readings for nearly 3 years as they hadn't read my meter I made a fuss and got them to fit a 'semi smart meter' that could be read by their operative driving in to our courtyard and it would relay the reading to his device. The next bill I got was - you've guessed it - estimated. Cue phone call and strong letter. They groveled and paid me the compensation. I'm sure you'll get there in the end, but you really have to be in the mood to keep going.
cherie cherie
calm your self
eclipse - - substitute exceed - it is more likely that the reader will understand

I actually did use: Your company announced they were going to fire 500 employees and I wrote and asked breathlessly if you were one. You were silent and so I concluded that you were still at your desk attending to your duties with your usual enthusiasm and concentration.

I have also used : as a result of your employees negligence, they have been sending me more threatening letters saying I owe you money when I dont. This has absolutely terrified me.
(obvious ref to psychological damage from negligence)

also - - "how you must have laughed to hear of my problems"
( I had cancer)

"Your employees have been trying to get money out of a blind old age pensioner"
that wd me reader in case you were wondering why...

oh water
mine was British gas

we have had water issues - - and it turned out.....
two supplies. One was put in 1905 and then the whole village was replumbed sort 1950- and they didnt remove the old system. and they spent a long time wondering why the old system didnt do anything and didnt seem to conform to the maps ....
I don't wish to seem in anyway rude but I feel it is my only remaining option....
unless of course you wish me to try sarcasm...neither of us want that to happen

I would like to explain... But that obviously requires an assumption on my part that you are capable of understanding and I am not that stupid

Release the Kraken if that doesn't work try McFluff

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