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Some Funny But True Facts ( Away From Footie, Tennis, Brexit And Covid)

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Bobbisox1 | 20:01 Sun 04th Jul 2021 | ChatterBank
38 Answers
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
What is the speed of darkness?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Did you ever stop and wonder.......
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on......
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
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21.08, Eh!
Question Author
Swerver, if you align yourself with Martinmillar, you’re on stony ground , her answers are arsenic induced , that’s not just to me by the way , they are laced with poison , just saying :0)))))
Now, now, play nicely!

It's a wee bit fun and I see nothing to suggest anyone is claiming the lists to be their own work.
Question Author
Exactly TCL :0)))
22.35 What on earth is this..." Swerver "...
you keep mentioning .
Is it some sort of slang that is used in the North east ?
Your first on the list piqued my attention - found this on the Wibblenet -

"Was not hair commencing to grow upon his face? All the apes had hair upon theirs but the black men were entirely hairless, with very few exceptions.

True, he had seen pictures in his books of men with great masses of hair upon lip and cheek and chin, but, nevertheless, Tarzan was afraid. Almost daily he whetted his keen knife and scraped and whittled at his young beard to eradicate this degrading emblem of apehood.

And so he learned to shave–rudely and painfully, it is true–but, nevertheless, effectively."

Edgar Rice Burrows "Tarzan of the Apes"
Question Author
/// Answer
22.35 What on earth is this..." Swerver "...
you keep mentioning .
Is it some sort of slang that is used in the North east ?//

Swerver is someone who avoids the issue and basically post crap :0)))
22.57 , Oh dear , that was not a very Lady like reply was it.
Question Author
But true :0)
Calm it now, this last page is in danger of wrecking the thread.
And why does your nose run and your feet smell?!
Noses run in the family don't they
I've heard people say the, but who really knows?
A nosologist probably.
How does a thermos flask know to keep hot beverages hot and cold beverages cold?
Why is a small bar of chocolate called 'fun size'?
Why does a pizza get to your house quicker than an ambulance?
Why do banks leave the doors open but chain the pens to the counter?
//Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?//
Wise man say; 'Of man who lives in tree with monkey, there are questions we should not ask.'
Why is it that I always knit faster when running out of wool?
Been there done that Maggie ;-)

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