Covid And People

[Scarlett]

It’s now been three weeks since any of my friends have been in contact with me. The only reason I know this is because of the rule about private gardens. I fully expected at least somebody to come and sit in the garden for a catch up, and I have suggested it to everybody – not one person wants to meet up. It’s as if the pandemic has broken everybody. Even my very best friends have gone AWOL. This has been a massive disappointment to me. Has anybody else found that their friends have changed?

[Buenchico]

Why not suggest meeting up somewhere that is an attraction in itself, instead of just in your own garden (or that of one of your friends)? I think that people have been looking forward to 'going somewhere' and a friend's garden doesn't really count as 'somewhere', for such purposes, in some people's minds.

So, if the weather is kind to you, why not suggest meeting up in a pub garden or that of a café? (Our local Morrison's is one of over 100 that's extended its café operation to outdoors. I'm thinking of having a meal there next week and perhaps inviting a friend to join me).

Or you could even have a day out together at somewhere like a zoo, perhaps?

[Scarlett]

Nice ideas, Buen, thanks. I’m limited as I can’t walk/stand/sit so my garden is safe (guarantee of a seat/nearby loo) and I wouldn’t need a taxi to get there and back. The cafes near me won’t let anyone book and the rules seem to be “just turn up and grab a table”.
They also seem to be packed judging by their Instagram pages :/

[bednobs]

I don't know where you live but it's only been permissible to meet up with friends in the garden for the last 5 days in England perhaps you have not given your friends enough time?

[Scarlett]

I’m in England- 29th March was two households in private gardens day. I had it marked in my diary as the whole of lockdown 3 had me housebound as private gardens weren’t allowed!

[DTCwordfan]

okay - abbeylutions it is.....have a good one all.

[DTCwordfan]

sorry, that was for GMEB!

[Maydup]

Such difficult times Scarlett, I know how you feel, but its also been really cold recently. On the occasional nice day I have wanted to get out into my own garden or go out with OH for a takeaway lunch. I think people are also trying to catch up with their families; some are wanting to do a bit of non essential shopping and others are still in lockdown routine.

Give them time, offer them cake, and they will come!

[woofgang]

Have they said why not? Where I live, and its in the south, its has been much too cold to spend long outdoors and still is. Indoors, I am still wearing warm clothes with the heating on. Its fine outside if you are being active, walking, gardening and so on but not to just sit out there and chat. If your friends don't live really close, then ten minutes sat in the cold may not really be a goer, especially if they are older folk. My friend down the road and I are really keen to meet up, her son is my godson and her other son and partner have their second child who is almost a year old and we have never met. Her garden is much too small to even partly socially distance and she is scared of dogs so doesn't come to me so we are waiting patiently until we can meet safely.
I don't think that people have changed so much as circumstances are still not right.

[burlyshirley]

I think it would be lovely to go and sit in somebody's garden, but I haven't had any invites ! One of my friends has changed, she seems terrified of the virus, along with her husband and I haven't seen her for many, many months. As I live alone I was hoping we could be in a bubble together, but she wasn't having any of it ! She has still kept in touch via email and the odd phone call, but I miss seeing her and meeting up. I'm hoping by the time pubs can open up inside she'll have come round a bit, but I'm not holding my breath. Yes Scarlett, I think this pandemic has changed many people, sadly.

[margarettom]

It was very cold for a while after 12th April and I would not have wanted to sit outside. In fact, I’m not really a ‘sitting outside person’ but I accept invitations now, as it’s the only way to meet. I’m really sorry to hear how your friends have reacted. I think some people have been affected by all the scaremongering. I just hope things will get better for you soon.

[emmie]

i have been meeting up with a friend right through, we usually have coffee out as you can only get takeaways. We sat outside Even in the coldest weather, i think she was trying to help me get over my awful mental health downturn.

[bednobs]

Sorry scarlett of course you are right about 29th. We have had Easter in between though, so may be it's not been convenient for them

[bednobs]

Ps to answer your actual question I'm not sure if my friends have changed but I certainly have. I was never particularly outgoing previously but now even less so.

[Bobbisox1]

Sadly Covid has changed our lives in ways that aren’t seen by others ,a lot of people have lost their confidence around mixing with others , I see it when I’m out where people will do a full semi circle to avoid passing you , I hope your friends return soon Scarlett x

[Canary42]

Remember we are talking about over a year of a rampant plague which for people of a certain age is almost always fatal - even with the comfort of vaccination, this will take a long time to overcome.

[emmie]

when my mate and i meet up we often see her husband and the children going shopping at waitrose, they stop for a few minutes, chat, then go home. I don't think that its wrong, nor did i before. They are as friendly as i remember when having them round for dinner and having dinner at their place a couple of years ago. Things will get back to some sort of normality its just going to take some time.

[Scarlett]

Burlyshirley- your situation sounds very similar to mine; I think people without a household or bubble have slipped through the net. The government seem unaware that we exist! The housebound folk also haven’t been able to see anyone outside for ‘exercise’ which is why the private gardens rule was so important. It’s the only way I get to see a person. I’d be your bubble!!

[Scarlett]

Woofy- they haven’t said why, they just don’t reply to my messages. I know it probably doesn’t seem very appealing to sit at a distance in my garden, but I think perhaps they are clueless about what it’s like to be properly alone for 13 months. I guess everybody has become selfish, because it’s a Fight or flight instinct. There are very few people I found who are able to be empathic in this situation.

[jennyjoan]

yes I have - unbelievably so.

[Scarlett]

Emmie- sorry to hear you’ve had a hard time mentally. Was it caused by the lockdown do you think? Glad you’ve had someone to get out with.