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dotty's big adventure reprise

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DotH | 20:48 Mon 28th Aug 2006 | Body & Soul
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Today Dotty had to pick up her youngest son's girlfriend from her part-time job as a bakery assistant. What joy, a drive to the outskirts of town, where all the 'simple people ' live. Unperturbed, Dotty loads her crutches into the car and sets off, Simon & Garfunkel on the car CD and Gucci glasses perched nonchalantly atop her neatly coiffured head. Parking up adjacent to the Bakery stroke convenience store, Dotty noticed a delightful group of young adults, politely sauntering in the afternoon sun in front of the shop window. Dotty hobbled past the young adults with her highly active mind focused on the task in hand, i.e. locate Daily Mirror and half- bottle of Vodka whilst the opportunity arises. Dotty has good hearing, Dotty hears a rather childlike but masculine voice utter in a shrill colloquial voice, 'core fit blonde nice tits'. Dotty frowned in a perplexed fashion and looks around. noticing the absence of anyone else, in particular anyone remotely blonde, let alone fit, Dotty carries on hobbling into the said shop.



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Dotty acquires a Daily Mirror and rejects the half-bottle of Vodka on the grounds that it is a foreign and unfamiliar brand, pays for said paper, and exits said store. Dotty hobbles past the collection of young adults and hears a wry old comment, 'core there's your bird again', Dotty pauses and looks at the vociferous youth in earnest. The young man offers a stammering excuse that he was merely pointing out Dotty's features to his BMX mounted comrade.
Dotty frowns deeply and returns to her car. Young adults follow closely behind Dotty and begin to whistle and make rather personal remarks about Dotty's sexual potential. Dotty gets into car and places expensive Radley bag and purse in passenger seat well, switches engine on and winds down electric windows, switches engine off and commences to read Daily Mirror.
Young adult number 1 offers a cheery 'hello sexy'.
As Dotty steps from the car young adult number 2 offers a lame 'it wasn't me mrs'. Dotty, in no doubt as to who it had been, hobbles up to young adult no. 1 and points one finger into his face and offers the wise and succinct words,
'You are ******* with the wrong bird today you little *******, get the **** out of my face before I knock your ugly thick head off'.
Young adult number 1 goes deathly pale, the gold chain around his neck quivers in abject fear.
'Sorry I'm ****** me' offers the young adult.
'So **** off home to your mother and tell her what a little **** you are then' retorts Dotty as she returns to the car.
Son's GF emerges from the bakery and gets into the car.
'Is everything alright Dotty?' asks young Laura
'Smashing' replies Dotty.
Dotty drives off, glancing in the rear view mirror to observe young adult number 1 being laughed at and pointed to by several of his peers. Dotty notices a hair out of place and adjusts her appearance, ahh, perfection once again.
Did I do wrong?

a novel in the making .
did their golden labradors not try to bite you?
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lol now you are in bother

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