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[The Builder]

The Constituency of Answerbank South.

As your officially self-appointed candidate for The Monster Raving Loony Party, I hereby give notice that I shall be standing in the next General Election; sitting around a bit in the Local Elections; and positively sprawling for the MEP elections.

Some details from our past manifestos for your consideration.

HALF the grey squirrels will be painted red to increase the red squirrel population.

FRIVOLOUS Fraud Office setup to inspect fraud too silly for the Serious Fraud Office.

KIDS will be made to sit closer together on smaller desks to reduce school class sizes.

POTHOLES deeper than 3 inches will be marked by a yellow plastic duck.

QUITTERS will be encouraged not to start in the first place to improve their self esteem.

VEHICLES will be fitted with bungy ropes in order to save fuel on the return journey

YELLOW lines will be painted where you CAN park instead of where you CAN'T, to save money.

X-RAY machines will be manned by a skeleton staff.

TAX payers to receive Nectar Points from HMRC

JOBSEEKERS will be made to stand two abreast in order to halve the dole queue.

THE LOONY PARTY propose that voters will get a 30 day cooling off period during which, if you change your mind, didn’t like the result, or didn’t know what you were voting for, you can get your vote back.

I look forward to your support.

[The Builder]

Choux Shooting-stick?

[choux]

Better not thanks - last time some beggar had put it the wrong way up ...

[The Builder]

;o)

[choux]

The vehicle bungees intrigue me. Won't that make the M25 the world's biggest yoyo? Don't think walking the dog is allowed on motorways.

[marval]

I am in, we could do with some more red squirrels.