What Can I Say ?

[catswhiskas]

My cousins husband died in June, they had been married over 60 years, and have children , grandchildren. They lived a long way from me and I did not go to the funeral , but sent a card flowers etc and phoned her.
I thought that I should write to he before Xmas, but I am not sure what to put, can anybody please give me a few words or phrases ,that I could build on please.

[andy-hughes]

Sqad - // Eleena.......death is commonplace to me, have seen famine , tragedies all my life and they have no effect on me particularly when they relate to someone that i had never known or even met.
I find it difficult to grieve even about someone close to me, so you see the question of writing to someone who has just died is difficult......and i don't and particularly on the Internet....so impersonal. //

You write about your absence of empathy as though it is something to be proud of - it's not.

// Yes Kvali's post 14.19 was superb, but she is after all an actress, so you see it was totally without feeling or emotion.....in other words it was meaningless.....it couldn't have been any other way. //

But at least you're consistant - only an empathy-free individual would presume to know that a stranger is making something up on the basis of her profession.,

[kvalidir]

Thank you for the BA Catswiskas :)

It was somewhat heartfelt actually Squad, in the sense that as an actor you tap into method, that is I thought how I'd feel if my partner had died and how I would want a letter to arrive from someone, and that's pretty much it, but I do think BM is right avoid the funeral and go with her suggestions on that I think, so I'm not entirely heartless Sqadi. x

[Barmaid]

I have to say CW, it is Mr BM's first Christmas without his dad. So this has given me food for thought on him and his daughter.

[Sqad]

A-H
"You write about your absence of empathy as though it is something to be proud of - it's not. "

You have missed the boat there Andy as that is your interpretation of my post....i ma NOT proud of it or indeed otherwise.....it is just a fact.

Kvali"

"It was somewhat heartfelt actually Squad, in the sense that as an actor you tap into method"

of course.

[andy-hughes]

Sqad - // A-H
"You write about your absence of empathy as though it is something to be proud of - it's not. "

You have missed the boat there Andy as that is your interpretation of my post....i ma NOT proud of it or indeed otherwise.....it is just a fact. //

In that case, you appear to have posted merely to advise castwhiscas that you have absolutely nothing whatsoever useful to contribute to her thread - and for that, you might as well have saved your time, and simply not posted at all.

[Mamyalynne]

I'm sure the words will flow once you start Catswhiskas.x

[Barmaid]

Ok, that's a fair point, AH. But there is some irony in your post - others have attempted to move the thread on, and I'm not sure that your post really adds anything to the question posed by CW other than to have a pop at Sqad.

[Sqad]

A-H

"In that case, you appear to have posted merely to advise castwhiscas that you have absolutely nothing whatsoever useful to contribute to her thread - and for that, you might as well have saved your time, and simply not posted at all."

LOl..LOL...I think that you are probably correct as i am at the stage on AB where my replies are labelled "unhelpful" ( particularly by you repeatedly)or my answers are removed.
I often wonder and analyse whether i play any part in AB or indeed if alternative opinions are welcomed.

[andy-hughes]

Speaking personally Sqad, I find your posts refreshing, even if I do disagree with some of them, and alternative opinions are welcome from any and all.