Feeling Hopeless Tonight

[silliemillie]

My hospital tests were not good news, my Myeloma is back with a vengeance and I will have to have chemo in the next few weeks or so.

I could cope with this, I've done it before, but with my current domestic situation I'm just feeling like everything is hopeless.

As many of you know, I am now caring for my Mum who's almost 82. But theres nothing wrong with her now! She had that fall in December but wil now not let me leave the house without her, she point blank refuses to be left alone.

How am I going to get my treatment? They are estimating 3-4 days a week. I really don't think want her coming with me as she's very difficult and rude, I just let it go over my head as I'm used to her but I'm not having her embarrass me at the hospital.

I can't get anyone to sit sit with her for 3-4 days as she's alienated most of the family with her difficulty ways and rudeness, I'm in despair!

[silliemillie]

Thank you all again,
I will sort something out, I usually do, I will feel better in the morning,

Just having a wobble, I can't cope with her and this, but I know I will i
Just despair of her sometimes.

[goodgoalie]

I'd just like to add that all the people who posted nasty or unpleasant things on kvalidir's earlier 'how do you see AB' thread should be made to read this thread. It's a wonderful example of what AB can and does do by way of offering a friendly ear and encouragement when people are in distress, and a lifeline for those who have nowhere else to turn

[kvalidir]

Much love to you Millie I am so sorry you're going through this. As others have said, lots of ears here when you want to talk xxx

[tinkerbell23]

Please also look into Maggies Centres xx

https://www.maggiescentres.org/cancerlinks/supporting-someone/support-carers/

[silliemillie]

Thank you, I feel much better already having just got it off my chest. X

[Maydup]

All of the above, plus, seek out the local Befriending service. Sounds like Mum has some mental health issues and might benefit from some new company. A friend of her own who she can chat to and moan with, and who can be with her on treatment days. It worked for my Gt Aunt who wouldnt be left alone until her befriender became her new best friend and she wanted her all to herself for a few hours.

[LadyCG]

I'm so sorry for all the anguish you're going through, Millie. You need to put yourself first for the timebeing.

When having treatment remember to eat well and get sufficient rest.

I wish you well xx

[waterboatman]

Millie you don't need this at such a time. I don't know where you are, but there are organisations that could perhaps help. If you're not too far from me I could, Do you have a local Lions club? They have a Lioness's club that could help. There are other organisations, your local library will be able to help.

[xstitcher]

Oh my goodness waterboat man. You most certainly have been given your crosses to bear and I’m so sorry. You must put your own health and well being first even if it means ugly scenes. You’ve done your bit. I hope you get it sorted soon.

[waterboatman]

Thank you xstitcher. I just do my best and hope it's enough. I get by. I have some amazing friends to help.

[murraymints]

dearest Millie ..you simply have to put yourself first..your mother is being extremely selfish and curmudgeonly... perhaps her own mental health is not helping ..but this is very unfair on you... I would visit your GP and explain the difficulties you are having..they can fast track any care packages available to provide you with help for your mother via social services and any other agencies local to you... also any help for you to deal with this latest round of treatment.. I have been through a bit of this myself and take it from me, you will get no thanks for doing your best and struggling through to the detriment of your own well being... now it is time to think of yourself and let others deal with the other stuff..you owe it to yourself, do not feel guilty or bad for doing so....wish I lived nearby to offer some practical help...always good to kick and scream on here when the tough gets going..it does help... thinking of you at this most difficult time xx

[xstitcher]

I’m so sorry Millie. There seems to be some very good advice coming to you that I hope you’ll get a positive outcome from. All the best my dear.

[ummmm]

Millie....it must feel awful so use AB to get all your frustrations out. You shouldn't be coping with this alone xx

My granddad was very rude and aggressive but it didn't stop any of us looking after him. Once you accept them for the way they are they can become quite amusing.

You aren't well....rely on your family. If you have to guilt trip them....do it. You can't go through Chemo without help.

[silliemillie]

Thank you all so much for your support, just knowing you lovely people will listen to my woes really help.

What Goodgoalie said was right, I read Kvals thread and instead of holding it in I remembered there is always someone to talk to on here.

Bless you all xxx

[murraymints]

always an ear here Millie xx

[Old_Geezer]

Glad you're finding ways to come to terms with you problem. Good luck with the treatment too.

[rowanwitch]

She doesn't have any choice You will need to be really hard hearted for your own sake.
If she threatens to take all her tablets take them with you, time to stop this tyrant bullying you.

[ladybirder]

Let us know how you get on Millie please. Thinking of you and wishing you all the best. xx

[rowanwitch]

Where abouts are you based as knowing might help target specific help for you

[Patsy33]

So sorry to hear this Millie. As others here have said, you must put yourself first. Take advantage of any help out there. Thinking of you. Be strong..xxx