Does anyone else have a relative or friend who say the wrong thing?

[inej]

My nan is great but she get's names muddled up. She asked the bakery for a quicky when she wanted a quiche.
Asked for the condoms when she meant condiments.Calls a jacuzzi a kakoozi . Little thing's bless her she comes out with make me laugh.
ALso kids say funny thing's to show you up in public, i tried to help my niece down the stairs on the bus once
she shouted out loud i can do it myself you know i'm not handicapped ( it was a full bus )
Have you any funny little thing's to share ? thanks

[inej]

Allso the once when i was at school many years ago , my nan attended my parent's evening and decided to say heil hitler to my german teacher which luckily for me she laughed at. bless.

[dot.hawkes]

it was no secret that my Mum used to buy her furniture from MI5.

[joko]

my brother insisted he could memorise me.

i said i'm sure there is no need - you rarely forget a sibling!

even when i explained he meant mesmerised, he wouldn't have it -
i eventually had to explain what both memorise and mesmerise meant, and that a guy named mesmer, a famous hypnotist, was the reason this word exists.

he also, attempting to be snooty, said in front of people he was showing off to 'oh i love listening to wagner' ...

... pronounced wag-ner not 'vargner' - all the other snooties just smirked.


incidentally inej, bit of trivia, the word for what your nan does is malapropism - named after a character in a book who said a lot of them.

similar is things like saying bixing mowl instead of mixing bowl is a spoonerism - again named after a bloke who said them a lot.

[goindoolally]

When my daughter was about 10 she went out for the day with a friend of mine, when she got back I asked if she had a good time and she said "oh yes mum, I went on a stimulator" I had to put her right saying "no darling, you went on a simulator"

[mccfluff]

i'd asked my friend for a lime and soda and she shouted over a crowed bar 'pint of slime and odour' she got a few looks!

[debbz1969]

Oh I could write a book on the funny things my mum used to come out with. Bless her..
The ones that will go down in our family histoy are:
On phoning Homebase to see if they did dildo in 6 foot lengths. (she meant dado rail!!). And the time she was having a new fence she phoned the fencer and asked if he did "erections". She was absolutely priceless.

[Ms.Hijinx]

my b/f changed aspergers-hamburgers, tempremental -sentimental, rectified to correctified and many more now i know what its called is there a cure as the fun element has worn off for me and just left the "cringe what a tit" thing?

[Rufio]

Go Nan!! Good for her still needing condoms at her age!

[kazminx]

my mum has always called testicles tenticles!!

[Pippa68]

My dad used to buy furniture from MI5 too, Dotty! oh and joko ~ my dad was once looking for a Wagner LP in a record store..looking in the 'V' section....

My daughter was once sitting there staring into space. When I asked her what she was doing she replied ''I'm hibernating'' when of course she meant to say 'meditating'.

My mother in law insists on calling a prostate a 'prostrate'

When I was little, my nan was reading to me from the newspaper & proceeded to tell me that some people had died in Chaso. I asked her where Chaso was and she replied ''Switzerland''. When I looked at the story I discovered that she was referring to a headline 'Hundreds injured in Chaos'..apparently due to an avalanche in Switzerland.

[leedsgurl]

My brother was at work one day and they were talking about wrinkly foreheads, and he said his was quite wrinkly because he had a lot of foreskin... instead of forehead skin! How embarrassing!

[nect4r]

My Mum also shops at MI5!! And I thought it was just her!

I did tell my partner once that I was going to "divulge" in a glass of wine..!

[dot.hawkes]

Mrs Malaprop was in The Richard Brinsley Sheridan story The Rivals! I did this at Uni and the other woman in it is ridiculous, an early version of a sloane ranger in the Bodlean lol