I Won

marval | 18:53 Fri 07th Sep 2018 | Jokes

2 Answers

For nearly a week now I have had a man in my garden singing, “Figaro, Figaro, Figaro.” I won a tenor on the lottery.

I used to be lazy, but that all changed when I stepped in a pool of glue. I have been working my socks off ever since.

I was reading this book on the anatomy of a pig. It was pretty standard, but I got to the end and found there to be a twist in the tale.

My friends and I were deciding which one of us was going to steal New York’s tallest statue. Anyone could have done it but in the end I took the Liberty.

My friend said he was going to a Costa in Spain for his summer holiday, bit of a long way to go for a coffee isn’t it?

I remember going to the park with my dad wearing a Donald Duck hat and a sailor suit. Why he wore that, I will never know.

I got told by my Psychiatrist this morning that I’m both indecisive and a Kleptomaniac. I don’t know how to take it.

Whilst using a dictionary in the library I got trounced. To be fair, I was looking for trouble.

I committed the perfect crime, I stopped paying my psychiatrist. He took me to court and I pleaded insanity.