Am I Over-Reacting??

[Smowball]

Teen Smow has done so well- passed all his GCSE’s, got a brilliant job, met a lovely girl and everything fabulous. Then 6 months ago they decide they want to get their own place to rent. Which I thought was far too soon and far too much responsibility but it was up to them. So at the age of just 18 he has rent, council tax, gas, electric, shoppping etc etc. Which seems mad to me but there you are. They both work full time and work very hard. I get on v well with her too. Teen Smow and I are very close, he’s always ringing or txting me and we had lovely long chat on phone on Sunday.
So it came as a huge shock lastnight whilst doing some work on my iPad that a photo popped up of the two of them together with the title WE’RE ENGAGED! I actually thought it was a joke. Did a double take and looked again. Tons of congratulation comments etc .... it had been posted hours ago. I was literally speechless. Rightly or wrongly I message him and said ‘well I didn’t expect to find out that bit of news on FB x’. To which he replied he’d told her not to post it (he rarely even uses FB). I said I was upset and he asked why. I said could you not have said to her don’t post anything till I’ve at least rang Mum and told her. He said she’d already done it by the time he realised. Still didn’t explain why he hadn’t told me. Anyway not wanting to argue I said it was late (it was) , I congratulated him and said I would call him today. Apart from the fact I have no idea WHY he has got engaged, do you think I over reacted? Or would you be upset too?

[New Judge]

"Smile, wave, act like it's the norm,..."

No, no noooooo.

That way it becomes the norm and it shouldn't. What they did was discourteous and rude. There's nothing remotely "normal" about showing a lack of common courtesy to your parents. If, as has been suggested, their intentions are not serious, they need educating that announcing you are engaged means you aim to get married and that's a serious step. If you don't intend to marry don't say you are engaged.

[Barmaid]

I think Rowan has nailed it. I thought much the same but everytime I try and post something happens round here.

[jno]

we heard about the engagement only hours before it appeared on FB, which was nice.

We heard about the divorce weeks before it went public, though. So count your blessings...

[maggiebee]

Not having a go at you Smow, but you seem to be more concerned about the engagement than you are at them renting a flat together. Is it just that you weren't told?

[Sqad]

"Teen Smow and I are very close, he’s always ringing or txting me and we had lovely long chat on phone on Sunday. "

Clearly not close enough.
I feel that you have under-reacted.

[woofgang]

"Oh well, let’s hope it’s a long engagement! "

I do have to wonder if he knew how you would feel and though fait accompli would be easier.....

[tamborine]

He is your son but more importantly your son is the partner the fiancee has accepted as her betrothed. As such you are secondary in his life for now. If my OH asked my MIL to get engaged to me she would probably have said no as I now see 'he was central to her income' & financially dependant on him!

Dont let this episode marr your relationship with her as your son will be the most hurt.

[Scarlett]

You are totally right. I give it six months.

[Smowball]

Sorry just catching up with answers. Yes I was equally concerned about renting the house but they wouldn’t be talked out of it. I’ve had a long chat on the phone with him this eve.

[roopower]

I saw the engagement announcement of a young man I know on FB and one of the comments was something like 'congratulations, looking forward to meeting your fiancee'. It was from his mother!