Christmas Funds Or Lack Of....

[FrillyPancake]

....we can't afford Christmas this year, and were unable to last year too due to redundancy etc.
Just getting back on our feet now after 18 months of breadline living. Anyway, text mu last year to say we couldn't' afford it and not to get us anything. Everyone did anyway, which made me feel bad - still to this day. This one is looming, and I feel a bit foolish having to text again, to say the same thing but probably awaiting presents once more, which we really want to say again "don't get us anything, just let's have a really quiet one", but I know this won't happen...Am in a quandary, haven't seen mum since March anyway - our family isn't that close due to numerous things that happened lately and I really just want to forget the whole thing as we simply don't have the cash to spend. How do I go about this, and the guilt and the dreaded "text" to say once more we can't afford it?? I am wracked with guilt already and it's only October!
Tia
Frilly

[rsvp]

what's the matter with my computer this morning????

[Togo]

Frilly if you do text or communicate, reiterate your dismay at not being in a position to spend money on gifts, and gently state that the best gift that you could hope for is the family being united and on terms once more for Christmas.

[rsvp]

I give up - computer no cooperating.

[Bathsheba]

237, your suggestion strikes me as something that will require some dosh,...Frilly, stop being so hard on yourself, just text 'em with truth ;)

Baths
x x

[cassa333]

For the love of God don't text. Make an effort and write them a letter.

Although you have to be comfortable in the way you do it and I don't know your circumstances or how you get on with your family but texting is not the way to communicate with when there is an issue like this.

[FrillyPancake]

I may choose to write it down in the Christmas card I send them - I will send it a little earlier than normal so that they get some notice of out situation.....???

[Bathsheba]

That sounds like a fair compromise, Frilly ;)

Baths
x x x

[FrillyPancake]

I guess cause I love my mum and brother Bella, this is why.....I want things to be Ok between us, the other two (my sister and dad) have made their opinions pretty clear, and are two peas in a pod. I am or was much closer to the former and not the latter. Anyway, I am not beating myself up as such, just don't want to be playing a martyr as I'm not like that. I just want them to understand our predicament, and respect our wishes, rather than do this whole "fake" thing every year. I would as I say and I will continue to say send them presents like I always have, but the impounding financial situation we are in yet again leaves me with no option. I guess I am a soft touch, this is what my husband always says anyway. Not always a bad thing, but always me that gets hurt. I spend DAYS thinking about this, and yes, beating myself up - yet it's all because of the way I was brought up to make people feel good whatever happens in life.....I guess that's just my cross to bear. Rubbish always trying to do the right thing, then even when you do you are wrong....

[dmbhunt]

Don't feel guilty, you have managed peoples expectations by giving early notice of your intentions, I do the same to a lesser extent in respect of Christmas cards, in that I advise that I'm not sending cards out but I do send an e-card. The fact that they choose to send me cards in the post is entirely a matter for them in part I do it on cost grounds ( especially postage) but also the money that I would've spent I give to charity. I nominate two charities each year one animal, one human. That is my choice. We do not make much of the season indeed I feel people get totally carried away. Send your text good and early advise things are getting better but you have a way to go yet, real family and friends will understand. Glad to learn you are getting back on your feet, it takes time, been in dire situation myself before now and had to get a second job working, evenings and weekends.

[CailinDeas]

Would you consider nominating a favourite charity (in your Christmas Card) for donations instead of gifts to you? You could say that rather than exchanging gifts you will be donating too. The amount isn't important, so you can participate in the gift giving too.

[Answerprancer]

There's no shame in giving charity shop findings as gifts afaic, especially books or DVDs although Andy Hughes' suggested message is brilliant IMO if you really are totally skint.

[murraymints]

frilly you have made your position clear to them all..if folks still want to spread a bit of cheer in your direction take it in the spirit it is offered xx

[tamborine]

In case your xmas opt out is over ruled can you afford a slab of marzipan to make fruits & sweetmeats, toffee apples, icing sugar mice, peanut brittle toffee. Icing sugar holly, bells, angels, santa, fudge.

[tamborine]

Or use the Jehover Witness excuse.....they dont celebrate Xmas