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Driving In Mumbai....

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ToraToraTora | 07:47 Wed 16th Oct 2013 | Motoring
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I have been here almost a fortnight now and although I haven’t actually been driving myself, my driver is a jedi master and I have put together a handy guide to motoring in Mumbai....
1) which side of the road do I drive on? Both
2) What do traffic lights mean? Variable, stop on red sometimes as the mood takes you.
3) Give way - never
4) Use horn at all times
5) do not take any notice of horn
6) At junctions use any lane preferably the least appropriate one for where you are turning
7) if you are going the wrong way, do a U turn across the traffic at any opportunity
8) Headlights use only one at a time to avoid wearing them out, do not use at all if you want to preserve them
9) Motorcyclists, be sure to use pavements whenever you can, dodge the pedestrians
10) Motorcyclists, although your vehicle is intended for 2 people feel free to carry the entire family and even a goat if you need to.
Happy Motoring! Any questions?

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Ha ha..get a push bike !
Keep the windows wound up and the air conditioning on, if you do not want your olfactory system overloaded on the drive in from the airport to Mumbai central.

Avoid parking or driving along the pavements at night - you might inadvertently run over several sleeping individuals.

Cows seem to have right of way.

Stay at the Oberoi :)
When I visited that city I noticed that the etiquette at roundabouts was to accelerate towards it blowing your horn.
A group of us took a taxi in Mumbai once (or Bombay as it was then).

We offered the taxi driver double if he could get us there without using his horn.

He failed right at the very end.
Much like slough and Hounslow. wonder why?
Never had the pleasure of experiencing the traffic in mum a but I have been driven in Cairo and many places in the UAE. I spent a lot of the time with my eyes closed, it was the only way I could protect myself from a total nervous meltdown. I could of course still hear the horns which should be heavily leant on whenever you wish to communicate with another road user for whatever reason but particularly to let everyone know the traffic light have turned green, presumably they think no one would notice otherwise.
Same rules apply in Italy, the further south you go the more they apply, particularly on Corsica. Breaking speed limits also compulsory.
Surely speed limits are deliberately set low to encourage folk to break them ?
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They must have speed limits here but I don't think the traffic ever moves fast enough to attain them!
11] Passengers must strap in, hold tight to seat with both hands and keep eyes closed and look nonchalant. If you must have your eyes open then wear sunglasses so that no one can see the terror in your eyes.

Was in Goa a couple of years ago and never saw a single speed limit sign. The speed rule was 'How fast was your vehicle!', maximum speed at all times. We organised a couple of excursions using local taxis and it was a point of pride that they got you there in the quickest possible time. I'm sure we almost reached orbital velocity after some bumps.
May not be Mumbai, but this gives you the idea
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RjrEQaG5jPM
Comments I made last year during a trip to Delhi and Calcutta.
Delhi highlights include the cars driving the wrong way on the freeway (albeit slowly and usually on the side) and bicyclists going the wrong way on the roundabout. Red lights are often merely suggestions that cars may be coming from the other direction. The unbroken lines separating oncoming traffic are best described as 'stretch goals' for the local drivers and it is common practice to use the other side of the road when you have to. Lane markings? Don't even bother... And pedestrian crossings? They are just a waste of good paint. And when you can easily fit five cars abreast on a three lane highway - do so.

There is a sort of caste system that applies to the road also: trucks/buses > expensive cars > ordinary cars > tuk tuks > bicycle rickshaws > pedestrians. Some of the time. There are very few cars without a substantial number of dents and the taxis are just comical with the extent of their 'war wounds'.

Calcutta highlights include the vast number of pedestrians and the narrow roads with frequent name changes hence a marked reduction in the dents. However daylight hours belong to ancient and battered Ambassador taxis with ancient and battered trucks and buses. The cars come out to play at night.

Car sales brochures no doubt include the decibel output of the horn since this seems to be the most important component of the vehicle. It is used as a sort of 'sound radar' - not so much "get out of the way" as "I am approaching from this direction so don't hit me". Quite extraordinary. This is my sort of driving! Extremely aggressive positioning but without the anger and road rage that usually accompanies it, and it works - usually.

I don't think that I should mention that the annual road toll in India is over 130,000.
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yes that's a good point, despite all of the above i never saw anyone get angry, there is no road rage, it sort of works, though the RTA deaths are staggerring. In the UK just tooting the horn will illicit road rage, I often wonder what an indain driving in the UK for the first time makes of it!
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I forgot: 11) motocyclists, have a helmet by all means but on no account actually put it on your head, hang it from the mirror or balance it on the tank! also feel free to ride one handed while you talk on your mobile phone!
And if you are in the passenger seat, just don`t look - it`s the only way to cope. They seem to have surprisingly few bumps though, considering.
Did you say Mumbai or Rome, TTT? It's just the same there.

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