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Help needed about sister

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heaven1 | 21:47 Sat 20th Jun 2009 | Family & Relationships
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Hi all,
Advice needed please, my sister is 27 and has a 3yr old son. She lives in a rented house, just recently she has fallen out with 3 of her friends (all her own fault) one of the friends is also her landlord. Anyway the landlord came round to inspect the property and found the house a proper mess, her cat has scrached the wallpaper in 3 places, the windowledge is falling off the window etc plus the house was really untidy and smelt of cat p**
She has given my sister 4 weeks notice to move out, and says if she gets hold of her she is gonna smack her one!!
I really dont know what to do as I work with her landlord, and she really is a bit of a mad one! My sister has no money for a bond for another house (I have no money to give her) and no one else to go for help. I am really worried, my friends at work tell me I should let her sort this out for herself because it is all her own fault and she needs to learn, but even if I wanted to help I cant. Any advice please.
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If your sister is going to made homeless I would tell her to speak to her local council/housing association to see if they can help.

I agree if she has got herself into this mess she needs to learn to take responsibility for her actions.

She is 27 and a Mother she needs to grow up and take responsibility for her life. Why should you have to bail her out.

Harsh words but she needs to stand on her own 2 feet.

Sx
Question Author
You say the same as my own friends. I know you are right, but I am worried about it. We are so different, I never fall out with anyone!! I am also in rented accommodation, I often tell my landlord to let himself in if he needs to check anything and my flat is always clean and tidy. Even after all this trouble, my sister still thinks she is right! She said the landlord knew she had a cat so it is there own fault!!!! She also tells me not to speak to her landlord at work - pretty hard as I am also her manager!!
no - keep your nose out of it as you will have to continue to work with your colleague. sagray is right in saying that your sister is an adult and needs to take responsibility / sort her own self out. how on earth anyone can let their house smell of cat pee and wreck things that do not belong to them are just not right in the head. she may well be made homeless and the local council will read her the riot act etc saying it is her own fault - but they do have a duty to house the children. mind you, they can call socail services and get them involved to make this happen. afetr trying to help a few of my family / friends out in this situation, i would never do it again. they either stay too long, take the pi$$ and eat all my food / not contribute etc. or we end up falling out over the problems we encountered on the way. also - none of them have ever lifted a finger to help me in any way so my helping days are unfortunately over. i would advise you to do the same! x
the fact is that the landlord has the right to serve notice on her, shes damaged the house! Your sister needs to take responsibility for her own mess and get to the council or housing association as shes going top be homeless.
Question Author
Thanks again, it seems everyone has the same opinion. I am back at work tomorrow so if her landlord says anything to me about the situation I will just tell her she will "have to speak to my sister as it is nothing to do with me"

I know the landlord is going to send her a bill for re-decorating plus any damage caused and I also know my sister is not going to pay it! So I know there is going to be more trouble ahead.



Your sister is old enough to take responsibility for herself and her child, and old enough to know that she has a duty to keep her rented property clean and in good order. I understand your desire to help, but sorting out other peoples' problems for them usually encourages them to sit back and take even less responsibility for themselves. it must be difficult for you having to work with her landlord. Could she be encouraged to give her one last chance if you offer to go and help her clean up the place. The landlord must find it equally embarrassing and uncomfortable working with you in the circumstances so perhaps it's worth a try. If not, I suggest your sister contacts the Social Services dept of her local Council, but they all have long housing lists and are hardly likely to give her priority when she's being evicted for being slovenly. If the landlord isn't prepared to give her another chance, I'd personally keep well out of the situation and let your sister sort it out for herself. She's a big girl now and it's time for her to grow up and act like an adult.

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