Despite your assurances to Barmaid, Bobbi, that Mr B 'isn't that kind', I'm still trying to work out where egg and bacon pie might fit in on the standard scale of infidelity, which is as follows:
Level 1: A box of chocolates, bought at a garage on the way home = "I've been having naughty thoughts about a woman our office".
Level 2: Flowers, bought at a garage on the way home = "I took the woman in our office out to lunch".
Level 3: Chocolates, bought from an expensive chocolatier = "I went to bed with the woman in our office".
Level 4: Flowers, in a massive bouquet, delivered by courier from the most upmarket florist's shop in the area = "I went to bed with all the women in our office".
Level 5: Levels 3 and 4 simultaneously = "I went to bed with all the women in our office and the front row of Hull Kingston Rovers".
So where the hell does egg and bacon pie fit in?
;-)