How Does The Body Know It Is Time To Go?

[kayakamina]

Two weeks ago I went to visit my oldest friend of 53 years standing. She
had been a constant through my life sharing marriage, children & grandchildren.
She was Godmother to my late son.
As we moved to different counties we did not see each other as we once had,
but remained close though letters & phone calls. I knew she had moved into a
Nursing Home but I took comfort from her cheery letters which were always
immaculately written & articulate.
As I had other personal business in South Africa I decided to arrange to visit
her and we were both excited at the prospect of seeing each other again.
When I arrived the staff told me she had spoken of nothing else for weeks and
had had her hair done that morning.
We spent a lovely few hours reminiscing and when It was time for me to go
we embraced and she said 'I've been waiting for you'

She died in her sleep that night.

The staff told me she looked serene & at peace.

How does the brain/body or whatever decide that it is the right time to go?

I'm still trying to get my head around it all.

[ummmm]

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend.

My dad did the same. He managed to hang on until he'd seen all of his siblings. He died the next morning.

[sandyRoe]

I don't know the answer to your question, but I do know this a a very moving post.

[Tilly2]

That is so sad but lovely. I can't answer your question but she had obviously been holding on for you.

[mazie]

So sorry for your loss K. The human soul is an amazing thing. Your friend waited to say her goodbyes xxx

[Purple_Popple]

Very sad post but moving at the same time. Once she felt content and at peace it was her time. At least she wasn't in any pain or distress..take comfort from that.

[Prudie]

Condolences kayakamina, this is a very touching post and not the first time that I've heard of people waiting to see their loved ones before they die. Maybe it's that feeling of relaxation that you've done all you need to do so you can drift off in peace?

[modeller]

I believe that normal stress keeps you alive. It's a driving force that keeps the adrenalin flowing. Once you reach a state of contentment the body starts to close down and if that coincides with old age or ill health it switches off. It's a bit like waking up from a deep sleep and feeling all sluggish. You have two choices , roll over for another hour or get up and go for a good walk. You know which one brings you alive.

[Mamyalynne]

Oh Kayakamina, a sad story tinged with such beauty. You answered it yourself I think, she was a constant in your life and you in hers, she could not bear to leave until that one last embrace.

As sad as it is to lose her, keep that special thought with you.

M ♥

[pixie373]

That's lovely. You were obviously very important to her. People do seem to "wait". I'm not sure how. Just willpower, maybe. My condolences, anyway x

[Ann]

How sad for you but lovely at the same time that she cared for you so much and was just waiting to see you again as her last minutes on earth - just hold on to that happy memory Kaya. I've actually got tears in my eyes as this post is so touching. God bless x

[toalisi]

A lovely, moving story.
I loved that she had her hair done.

I think you rather understated the stressful nature
of your trip when I was concerned about your absence
from our site.
http://www.theanswerbank.co.uk/Quizzes-and-Puzzles/Crosswords/Question1277587.html

[boxtops]

A lovely story - the same thing happened to both of my parents....

Many years ago, my dad was very poorly and was about to be readmitted to hospital, which he hated. He died in the night before he was to go in.... we felt it was from choice, but never knew how...
then my mum, like your friend, was dying in a lovely nursing home, but held on until all her children had visited her. She knew she was slipping away, and was happy about it - her time had come. Nature - however it works - is a wonderful thing.

[TheOtherHalf]

Very sad. My condolences
My MIL was the same. kept telling us we shouldnt keep visiting every night whilst she was in hospital and after a week she insisted we didnt come the following night as we were wearing ourselves out. An hour after we got home that night, was the phonecall to say she has passed away peacefully. It was as if she did it for us as well as herself. She kept telling us she had had enough of life. x

[kayakamina]

Thanks everyone for your lovely messages.

In the two weeks since her passing I've come to realise
that she went at a time of her own choosing and in the
company of someone she loved.
I think I'd settle for the same.

[atalanta]

It is not at all uncommon for people near the end of life to hang on for some important occasion they want to see. The birth of a grandchild, for instance. It was noted that around the Millennium, fewer people than expected died just before, more than expected died just after.

[grasscarp]

My mother decided I think. She arranged for the priest to visit (which we didnt know about till later). When I went to see her I could see she was unwell and said I would call the doctor. She replied Dont, I will be alright tomorrow. I did call the doctor but he was too late and she was already dead when he arrived. She knew.

[keyplus90]

It is not the body. It is the soul.

[RATTER15]

The body doesnt decide "its time to go" quite like that. the body deteriorates until it can support life no longer, then it stops working and we die, however, if the dying person knows that someone is visiting they will sometimes hang on, (adrenalin maybe) once that person has had her wish to see that person, he/she will relax and then pass away. Well that is how I see it.

[petal54]

as has been said,a sad loss.this seems a regular theme,why,who knows.I worked at a care home for 10 years,with several passings like this.it must've been a comfort for you to've seen your friend & to have these happy memories!

[murraymints]

Excuse aside....how's life in the out back ratty?