Meeting someone from a chat room??

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Clintuk | 23:16 Wed 13th Dec 2006 | Society & Culture
13 Answers
Ok, here's the big Q...I met this girl on in a yahoo chatroom about 6 months ago, I want to go meet her but haven't yet told my parents and friends who I think will be very skeptical and insulting about it....what's the best way of breaking it to them without piling too much stress on myself and coming out looking reasonable and sane?


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Don't say anything until you have met her. If you want to see her again after the first meeting then think about how you'll tell them. Or.....Lie!
Well, I'm just an old cynic - I say don't do it. If by some remote possibility she actually turns out to be
a/ female
b/ young
c/ attractive
then in theory you may well be meeting a new friend - but that's a lot to wish for under these circumstances isn't it? Not worth the stress and loss of sanity - are there no PYT's around in the real world?
If you are living with your parents Clint, then they have a right to know what is happening and will direct you accordingly, but you must tell them.

I wouldn't even consider meeting anyone from an internet chatroom as there have been enough warnings explaining the dangers. Wouldn't you rather be sane - and safe?
Question Author
OK...firstly, I know she's real...I've seen her on webcam, spoken on the phone etc. She's very genuine and it just so happens that we were both bored at the same time in the same chatroom. I really do like her, and in my mind, why should I care what other people think....even if she is just a friend...I only live why should I worry right?
Clintuk, what you see is not what you always get. Typing away on the computer doesn't necessarily mean that our personalities are the same. I stick with my first answer. meet her first and if she is what you expected and you want to see her again, then worry about telling your parents.
Then I'm confused Clint.

If you are not worried by anyone's response, least of all your parents, I have to ask why you bother to go to the trouble of posting, asking for the very thing you do not want to hear. Odd.
Clintuk, how old are you? Because you surely know how foolish it is to arrange to meet someone you've only chatted to.

Go with a friend. Possibly a friend and his/her gir/boyfriend. Then you can say to your parents that you're going out with friends, you'll be safe, and you won't have lied to your folks.

Arrange to meet up/go somewhere public and social. If she is genuine, she won't have a problem with that. Maybe suggest she brings a friend too, 'cause how do you know she isn't worried about this too? Staying safe is as much about keeping yourself free of accusations as anything else. ture/Question321892.html
Seems as if you've already posted this a month ago. Same girl?
I met my now husband in an AOL chatroom, we chatted for a year before meeting and basically we've never looked back.
All our friends & family were against us & we were given an average of 3 months at the longest.
We proved them all wrong, yes, I had to move 100 miles to be with him but I don't regret it.
Whenever my husband sees people he hasn't seen in a while they're always surprised we're still together mainly because relationships that start online seem to fizzle out pretty quickly. However it can also be a way to meet someone you would never have met otherwise.
Just remember everyone is different offline & not everyone tells the truth.
Tell the people you have to but keep it casual, don't let anyone think you want a proper relationship from it, the more casual you make it seem the less ammo they will have to put it down.
I say go for it! You wouldnt hesitate to meet a pen friend who you had been writing to for 6 months would you so i dont see that meeting in a chat room is any different. Look at all the couples who have met whilst one was serving in the armed forces, through writing letters, Its not like you havent seen her or spoken to her on the phone is it? trust your instincts and if you think she's special. dont let the chance pass you by. Take a friend the first time though, just in case and make sure you go somewhere public.I would wait untiul you have met to see how it goes before telling your family about it.Good luck X
Basically what everyone else said.

Meet somewhere public
Take a friend
Suggest she does too

Then tell your parents afterwards. You could always squeeze the truth and say you met online but through a mutual friend. Parents tend to get more worried about the net than they need to.

As long as you are safe, have fun!
Lot's of people probably will be skeptical and insulting to be honest. It's called IGNORANCE. I met my current boyfriend online. It is something I would never normally have done!! I have told only 2 close friends- who had a bit of a giggle at first. Everyone else (including my parents and his) think we met in a nightclub. The fact is, when we went on our first "date" we knew loads more about each other than if we actually had met in a club! Although, meeting someone when you are (usually) intoxicated, in virtual darkness and with no prior knowledge of them, seems more socially acceptable!! Even to the older generation, I might add! However, emailing/chatting to someone online or on the phone for months, taking the time to ask questions about each other and then deciding to take things a step further by meeting up, is so much more sensible- providing it is done safely. But, it seems odd to some people and maybe a cause for a bit of a laugh and joke! The reason we haven't told people is because we would forever be "that couple who met on the internet" or his family would refer to me as "that girl from the internet" and to mine he'd be "that bloke from the internet"!!!! But.....
.....I'd say, go for the meeting up!! Meet her, in a fairly busy public place, tell at least one friend where you are going and how long you will be (so they know when to expect you back). Not that I think she may be an axe murderer but you never know, she could be a bunny boiler and decide to accuse you of something you havent done. If you have a friend as an alibi AND you are in a public place- this will just cover your back as a male. This is highly unlikely though!! Also, it will put her at ease to know you want to make her comfortable by meeting somewhere public. You don't need to tell anyone else until you have decided what the pair of you want from after the meet up. I didn't tell people until a month or so of us actually being b'f and g'f as I wanted to concentrate on that myself and not be bombarded with questions as to where he came from! Good luck and I'd love to hear how it goes!!!

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