Invited Without Baby

[DeeLicious]

We are planning to have a few neighbours round for festive drinkipoos, and we want to invite a nice couple but don't want them to bring their baby who's about a year old. Is there an acceptable way of phrasing that invite? Tin hat on waiting for abuse at us not wanting them to bring their baby....

[pixie374]

Well....yes lol. We treat them with disrespect for years. It's amazing the majority turn out decent. Imagine how well we could do if we socialised them and taught them how to behave in public too...

[New Judge]

//Out of interest (just to compare while we were in France)... how much effort did you make in trying to comfort the baby, nj?//

You are joking, of course. I was out for a meal with Mrs NJ. You're suggesting that the eight or ten people who were the party with the child should be allowed to get on with their meal untroubled whilst I make an effort to "comfort" their child. I don't think so. Apart from the fact that I was about five tables away I have no intention of child minding whilst I'm out for dinner. The child was just a few weeks old and I'm sure it would have gone down very well if some grumpy old git poked its nose into its carry-cot. Please don't be ridiculous.

//Here in Ireland children are included from day one and just grow up knowing how to behave in different situations......x //

Here in England thankfully they're not. And long may it stay that way. A child a few weeks old will learn nothing from being left to cry in a busy, noisy restaurant on a Saturday night.

//Just because I’ve given birth I have to spend years eating in McDonald’s!.... ;-) //

Yes. Either that or get a baby-sitter. There are some places and occasions which are simply not suitable for young children. It is not fair on them and it is better that they are restricted to places where they do fit in. Then, as they grow up, they can progress to places where adults fit in. Having children means making changes to your lifestyle and one of those changes is ensuring your children do not spoil other people's enjoyment.

[pixie374]

Well, no, I was being sarcastic, nj... as the world is clearly only existing for adults. It's lucky you were never young yourself... or if you were, it's a shame you weren't also taught a bit more respect for others.

[sanmac]

What started off as an interesting and somewhat entertaining and even humorous thread is now becoming somewhat bogged down and even wallowing in psychology 101 and sociology 101 mumbo-jumbo.

[Apc2604]

Completely agree with Pixie and Gness.

[pixie374]

You don't need to answer, if you don't understand sanmac x responses flow from each other. Thank you, apc xx

[rowanwitch]

When I had grown up parties I kept a room to one side and arranged a babysitter to watch over them. People brought the kids. They were looked after and could see to them when needed. The older ones played together. The little ones slept The noise do t bother them .

[sanmac]

I'll respond whenever I wish to, thank you very much, and especially to ask what x and apc xx refer to?

[gness]

Don’t be silly, NJ. I brought my children up to behave well in public but to be honest I’d rather be in the company of someone else’s squawking child than someone as prissy and uptight as you seem to be.......that would be really uncomfortable. x

[Bobbisox1]

Why not just say
We’d like you to join us for drinks and hope you’ll be able to get a baby sitter for a couple of hours as things here may be a bit loud with such a large gathering ....?
Then leave the decision up to them

[Apc2604]

That is exactly what we did Rowan and how I was brought up too. Babies and young kids need to experience different faces, different locations and different routines too! Babysitters were rare and then it was only by close relations. But in this country children seem to be segregated. I too have travelled a lot in Europe and other continents where children are well behaved because from birth they are socialised and learn how to behave in different situations and as a result are more confident.

[albaqwerty]

sometimes parents crave adult company sans children.

this nice couple might even be in that category - who knows?

[sanmac]

Alba and Bobbisox, voices of reason arising above the confusing undulating foggy miasma created by the clamor of the pseudo social scientists.

[Vagus]

What point did I miss??

[TheDevil]

//Here in Ireland children are included from day one and just grow up knowing how to behave in different situations......x //

Lets not discuss how different countries do stuff because that just invites casual racism.

I can think of a few issues with certain kids who have irish blood. Doesn't mean all and the same though. yarda yarda.

[Rockrose]

If you exclude children from adult company how do you expect to know how to behave?
What’s the point in having children if you don’t spend time with the children?

[TheDevil]

before the smoking ban it was common for people to complain and sometimes vocalize a complaint about adults smoking near those who were dining with families because it ruined their dinner and made it unpleasant. The same would be for a unsettled baby in similar circumstances for adults.

[TheDevil]

"If you exclude children from adult company how do you expect to know how to behave?"

S/ Yeah god forbid you deprive a one year old of a critical social learning experience. S/

[Rockrose]

You are entitled to your opinion the same as I’m entitled to mine

[237SJ]

I remember when I was 17 and worked in an Inn in the evenings. One of the customer's husband had gone off with another woman when her baby was really young. She was distraught but still wanted a social life so she used to come to our pub and bring the baby with her. I can still remember her name. She used to put the baby to bed in one of our bedrooms and we all used to 'Coo' over her. I don't think the child came off any the worse.