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Culture Shock???!!!

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bruce5755 | 10:44 Thu 20th Jul 2006 | People & Places
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Next week I am going up to the Isle of Skye to visit relatives, now being a true southerner from the garden state of Hertfordshire, I need to know if;
a) do I need a passport.
b) will they notice by my accent that I'm not one of them. c) will they be nice to me.
d) will I get out unharmed.
e) what on earth will I do for two hours, stuck at Haymarket railway station waiting for my connection.
f) are cars cheaper up there, in case I have to make a quick getaway?
g) is the haggis bite venemous?

Thanks in advance.

p.s. I'm half Scottish!!!!
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well, it will depend which half the haggis bites, obviously.
no, yes, yes(unless you're not nice to them), no(the midges are creating an ambush plan on you as i type), go for a walk along Princes Street, have a drink in the station or go bum spotting, doesn't matter as they'll shoot you with a sniper rifle as you go over the bridge anyway, and as for the haggis, dangle a bit of tartan in front of them, it placates them while you make your quick getaway. Enjoy your stay!
You will win them over with beads and blankets. Don't be surprised if they are bemused by shoes! Practise bartering at Haymarket as they have no concept of money and credit cards beyond Carlisle. Do not show your passport, as they may eat it! Good luck and may your God go with you into the lair of the heathens.

ps. Haggis are an endangered species on a Friday.
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jno, my bottom half is Scottish (I think), why, does this matter?

Rufio, bum spotting sounds good to me! Are you sure you can buy alcohol up there? I didn't think the two went together!

Drusilla1S, That's o.k. then, I'm going on Wednesday!!

Thankyou All.
haha- a very funny funny post and answers- thanks!
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Thanks BOO, I wasn't sure if humour on this topic was allowed or not, what with the demise of C/B?
Nice to see you again!!
As to two hours in Haymarket, there's a good pub just across the road from the station, called, strangely enough, 'The Haymarket'.
More to the point - what are you going to find to do in Skye after the first two hours there?
To be accepted, stare at a fixed point on the landscape, nod to yourself, and say, "Aye!" Repeat this every minute or two and they'll think you're a local.
(Note; "Aye aye" has several meanings. 1) your part in the present activity is at an end and you are about to be on your way. 2) "What are you up to? 3) "Good-day! I see the weather's normal for the time of year." 4) "We all know that, but your opinion is ill-formed in several respects." 5) "I remember that occurrence!"
Enjoy! (Weather permitting).
If you want culture, then Haymarket station is within walking distance of both the Dean Gallery and Museum of Modern Art.

When on Skye, don't think of the midges in a a hostile way, think of them as McFly

And you bruce, long time no chat eh?

Yeah it's still allowed in small doses (chat I mean) provided you dont guffaw out loud and you aren't seen to be enjoying yourself too much ;-)

Now go- arm and prepare yourself for your adventure Norfffff- good luck and God speed- heh!
And im still giggling over the post and replies- I obviously need to get out more!
Only 3 expressions needed in Skye:

Feck aye

Feck no

Feck off

Covers everything.

Enjoy . . .
Haha. Brilliant!
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heathfield, Aye think aye might be able to manage a few ayes', but is "Aye" very different to "Aye Aye"? Sounds like sailors gibberish to me!!!

gen2, I'm sorry, thanks for the suggestion but I don't do modern art, I just can't get my head around it. Obviously I'm too normal. Don't get me wrong, I love a bit of Constable, but I couldn't eat two!!!

BOO, I've been away????

nickmo, would I be considered as selfish, because "**** me" was my immediate thought after reading your post!!!

Love to all, BROOCE! (See, I told you I had some Scots blood inside me!)
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Whoops, hey nickmo how come you got away with "****", and all I get is a measerly "****"? Are you in cahoots with ED?
**** no

- seeB - it fits whatever . .. and **** me would indicate an incomer, so do be careful laddie.

Just quote anything by Compton Mackenzie if you get into a spot of bother. Oh, and never leave The Three Chimneys without paying. . . . you have got to eat there as it is beyond ab fab. but you appear on the menu the next dayif you fail to cough up the readies. Pure dead brilliant scran, etc etc.

And if you have to drive up to Skye, take the tiny ferry see the pic from Glen Elg (after lunch at the Glenelg Inn of course) - much nicer and far more pleasant than the nasty bridge at K of L - and it does get sunshine, so ignore the clouds in the pic. Britains only turntable ferry I gather.

Turn off at the sign for 'otter hide and Glen Elg' before you Eilean Donan Castle from the south.

Love Skye - even getting lost in The Quirang is fun in mist. For 2 minutes.......then you panic. Anyway, have a peachy time.
Well thats a turn up isn't it? Now the machines don't like it.
excellent, been on that ferry, quite a piece of work and the road down to it was beautiful, hilarious post nickmo.
Holy moly the weather looks ruddy miserable in that pic! Bruce don't forget ya pac-a-mac!

And no, you havn't been away (or have you? LOL) , I mean't it's been a while since we spoke (?) on a thread.
Boo - you're way too soft. Nothing amiss with the
weather in the pic - its just that you had the wrong clothes on to look at it.

If you want happy sunny stuff - here you go

Gavin Maxwell lived close by and got all inspired for writing Ring of Bright Water. There is an otter hide opposite the ferry landing on Skye and a teeny single track road to enjoy once on the island.

Several b&b's to choose from at Glen Elg - even let you walk their dogs if you want some real exercise - plus a broch to play in, darn good pub (does do accommodation, but 50 times the b&b rates) and wonderful scenery on the way there and all around. You high enough to be above circling h/harriers over the forest to look down on them . . just fab place to get to.

And hi Maxi - I love the place too. Peace and quiet apart from the sticky little toursits moaning about the midges - then they see the ferry and get all happy again cos its so toaty and different.
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BOO. Would that be pac-a-macLoud or pac-a-macLean?
And yes I've been away!!!!! (Well, in my head at least). I've become a bit of a hermit since my injury at work.

nickmo. I'd best not book into a B&B, seeing as my sister has just opened hers!!
Just can't wait to get there now! Thanks for the pics'
Midges wont be a problem as I intend to smother myself in
axle grease and old chip fat!!! That should keep the litte *uggers away!!

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