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Mad Over Fifties Club

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nungate | 20:59 Sat 16th Mar 2013 | Crosswords
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Once again it gives me great pleasure to throw open the doors of Nungate Towers to welcome all of Ab's Mad Over Fifties (we can be flexible about the age thing.....if you are of a similar mind set as the rest of us) We have an interesting and varied programme of entertainments for your pleasure this cold wet evening. Tonight's tailcock is the "Shocking Shamrock" a pleasing (if not potent) concoction of creme de menthe and other "secret" ingredients......We are not serving a hot plate special this evening, instead we are having a Breakfast Buffet, a hot and tasty selection of sausages, eggs, bacon, black pudding, mushrooms, tomatoes, hash browns, square sausage (a house speciality) tattie scones, dumpling and other delcious breakfast goodies, all served up with lashings of toast, fried bread, coffee and tea. Of course there will also be the usual volly vonts and canopies. On the pudding trolley we have my very own recipe Hot Cherry Pie with ice cream.
The hot tub is bubbly away nicely in the North Tower, the mini bar has been filled, the elastics on the bungee has at last been replaced but, sadly, the moat has been stolen. Ossifers from our local constabulary will be around later to take statements as the crime was committed after last week's meeting, and they are hoping to turn up a lead.
The Minstrels are in the gallery tuning up, in addition to their usual selection of madrigals and fugues they have also promised us their version of the greatest hits of Dean Martin - we can all "Sway" later! There is a roaring fire in the snug for those who prefer a quiet evening, the bowling alley in the dungeons is ready for play, we will have dancing in the Great Hall and Queenofmean has decided that there will be a tea bag lifting competition, which she will be organising.
A warm welcome awaits all who dare enter these portals
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Chubb, did you remember to unlock the gates this evening?
Evening nungate. Sorry to be late but had things to do which I should have done instead of watching Wales thrash England. Wonderful result. Oh to be in The Angel Hotel bar tonight! Suppose I am too old for that now. Thinks back nostalgically to days as a student Will settle for a Shocking Shamrock.
Good evening your nungateship, a bit quiet as yet tonight I see. A bucket of that fine sounding tailcock ' Shocking Shamrock ' for me if you please.
For the roffle I have a pair of front forks suitable for a 1955 Triumph speedtwin 500cc and 16 tea lights.
I think I might enter the tea bag lifting contest later. I know nothing about the missing moat.
Hi Tony.
Good result this afternoon, Villa and Wales.
Nungate forgot to unload rifle prizes from Eric. Tube of fruit gums. Malkin snaffled the green ones. Bulb for a small torch.Eric now has a headlamp! Three Good Luck stickers, two silver, one gold and a bottle of smelling salts.
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Well hello there my little "villas" I was beginning to think I'd have to spend the evening talking to best beloved instead of at the MOFC. Great win for Wales today I thought, the Italy win was a bit of a surprise and the last time I looked Scotland were 3 - 0 in Paris (I'm in shock)
A bucket of your usual Tony coming right along. How were flying conditions tonight Daisy? Cloud ceiling around here is practically zero not good for being out on a broom. Can we tempt you to something nice?
Hello, a bucket please,
Hi Daisy, yes it most certainly was I think today was the crunch match about us staying in the Prem, 3 very much needed points gained.
C'MON THE VILLA.
Good evening psybbo, hows things.
Tony, you're mine tonight standing in for minty
Nun ....pleased to be here...I must return bellies robe which she so kindly gave me to assist with my plan to go home without b & b at the local nick...Well...by climbing into the boot of my carriage I managed to sneak past the lurking officer...however...the driver ..not wishing to waste the opportunity to make some dosh, picked up a fare...then another..then another..forgot I was there and I spent the next 48 hours languishing in the boot...my cries for help extinguished by his love for very loud des O'Connor ...fortunately I had my bag of volly vonts and half a bucket of your delicious tailcocks to sustain me.....the empty buckets proved...ahem....useful later on....eventually the boot opened...much to the surprise of family returning home from holiday and airport security...I emerged clad only in belle`s gown !!!! Well....I was frogmarched into the terminal and grilled by immigration...could not produce my passport and was detained as an undesirable and security threat for another 48 hours !!! Me undesirable ??? As if !!!...I eventually managed to leg it when I went to loo..bit of a squeeze that window..a passing trucker who recognised me from the Liverpool empire took pity and delivered me home to the safety of the barn...so I am rather relieved to be at liberty...thought Holloway was beckoning !!! Igor a bucket of shamrock please...think I'll have a few volly vonts....must get my sparkly from belle..take it I left it here...can't find it at home....Tony here yet ???
Hello All, long time, no speak. Hope all are well.
oops minty is here maybe we can share?
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Good evening Sibs and Minty. As usual Minty you have been in the "wars" you don't do things the easy way now do you? ;-) Belle has your pink sparkly in the retiring room and has a change of clothes for you should you require it. Do not worry about the local ossifers being around the Towers this evening they are not here for you, they are investigating the disappearance of the moat.
Sibs, Igor will be along with your tailcock shortly
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PB lovely to see you again, you have been missed. Been imagining you stuck on some ice floe somewhere in the arctic. Your usual refrigerated parking bay is all set for your 'berg. Tailcock?
Evening minty, glad to see you could make after the taxi escapade and I'll be having words with those immigration blokes 'Undesirable ' how very dare they.

Evening polar nice to see ya. can I park the berg please.
Rather damp I am afraid nungate. The hot cherry pie sounds absolutely
delightful. Not being here last week (family commitments in Bournemouth) I can only say that "It weren't me what taked the mote."
Be quite happy to state to the Ossifers though. Appreciate a man in a uniform. Not female coppers I hope.
Oi sibs !!!! .....I am more than tone can handle....isn't that right my sweet ? For the rofi...half a pack of hot x buns..a box of chocolate Brazil nuts but without the chocolate...a bottle of something I found stashed in the barn..no label not sure of the contents...and a tartan travel rug liberated from the boot of last week's carriage... another bucket please Igor...slurp....that black pudding looks nice....slurp....Tone tone...where you gone ? This shamrock stuff good Igor..slurp...
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Igor. IGOR! stand by with plan b
PB and sibs, lovely to see you.
Tony, ever thought of retraining as a Park Ranger?
Hello Nungate. I'd love a tailcock ( a large one!). The berg has been in for a refit whilst I have been sorting out IT problems. I have been stuck on an ice flow but in the South East. Did you know that I have a relative called Scarper Flo?

For the roffle I have a bag of smarties and some cat litter.

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