Writing the sound of a kiss

[rescuer]

How is it suggested one should write the sound of a kiss?

[Postdog]

Smack!!

Mmmwahh!!

[gingerflaps]

xxx muuaaahhh xxx

[Creepy]

Thats a good one - I like the Swedish word for it - puss or puss-puss (kiss-kiss) Strange that the Swedes nick name for cats is Kisse-Kat and ours is Pussy-cat ! those dam vikings get everywhere !

[rescuer]

My thanks to postdog, gingerflaps and Creepy for suggestions. The reason is that I want to e-mail a joke to a contact in Australia. The joke is about the man being assessed by a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist asks him to say the first thing that comes into his head when he gives him a word. The first word is 'orange' to which the man says 'breasts'. The second word is 'grapefruit' to which the man again answers 'breasts'. The next word is 'melon' to which he says 'bigger breasts'. The next word is 'windscreen wipers' to which the man, moving his head repeatedly from side to side, repeats 'Mmmwahh' , 'Mmmwahh'.

(I think 'Mmmwahh' is my choice.)

Obviously the joke is better told face to face rather than being written.

[Quizmonster]

Surely the joke version must have an 's' sound to it. The mwah-mwah version usually refers to the sort of pretend cheek-kiss that acting luvvies and "ladies who lunch" perform. That is, it happens several inches from the flesh of the person being greeted. I imagine that the man in the joke would rather deliver a real kiss to his supposed vision! How about something like 'pfff'? (I know there's no 's' there, but try actually saying it with an (ex)plosivel effect.

[rescuer]

Yes, an interesting point Quizmonster. I suppose it would be better if the psychiatrist was a well-endowed, topless, pretty young lady to get the best sound!