Friday Humour

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toonmilo | 16:27 Fri 09th Feb 2007 | Jokes
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There's a guy in a pub. He walks up to a guy stood in the corner & says "Are you H.I.V.?". The guy punches him straight on the nose & walks off.

So, he goes up to another guy and asks the same question, "Are you H.I.V.?". Once again, he gets a punch on the nose.

Puzzled, he decides to ask one more person. He see's a guy stood near the bar. "Are you H.I.V.?" he asks.

"Yes!" says the guy.

"Ah good", he replies, "You're next on the dart board mate!"

An englishman, an irishman and a scotsman are running through a field being chased by a farmer with a shot gun for stealing some of his crops. In an attempt to hide they run into a barn where there are three barrels. Each of them jumps into a barrel to hide. The farmer walks in the barm, goes up to the first barrel to see if any of them are in there. The englishman panicking starts going "woof, woof". Thinking it's only a dog the farmer goes onto the next barrel. The scotman starts going "meow meow"- just a cat thinks the farmer and moves on. Finally he comes to the last barrel where the irishman is hiding. The farmer approaches the barrel to hear the irishman shout "potato!

A barman was astonished one day when a Horse came into his bar ordered a beer and gave him a tenner.
Pretty smart thought the barman, but he'll have no idea of what money means and gives him a pound back in the change
"Don't get many horses in here." says the barman
"Not surprised" says the horse quaffing his beer "at 9 pounds a pint it's no wonder."


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Three great jokes there mate, Still laughing after all this time.

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