A Little Boy

marval | 17:31 Wed 22nd May 2019 | Jokes

3 Answers

A little boy walks into his kitchen and says, “Dad, there’s a man knocking on the door with a beard.” His dad replies, “Oh, no wonder I didn’t hear him!”

I was told to use as many key words as possible before going into to my interview but my mind blanked when I got in there. I could only think of ‘skeleton and master’ at the time.

I have started a support group for people who are depressed about their weight. It is mainly whining and dining.

For sale: Brewery in need of restoration, VAT free

I had MI5 round the other day, they accused me of growing vegetables in my garden on behalf of North Korea. I argued it was just a communist plot.

Some bloke offered to find my missing guide dog. He’s a Labrador retriever.

I have just got on the plane at Heathrow which is full of drunk electricians going for a stag weekend. I am expecting to see sparks fly.

I got sent a letter by the bank today that said that there are too many pictures of me. Apparently I am overdrawn.

My best friend has taken his girlfriend to Paris to propose at the top of the Eiffel Tower. Two other friends are currently climbing Mount Everest, and one of my work friends has recently got a job in the restaurant on the top floor of the Empire State Building. I have friends in high places.

I work in an advertising agency and recently had my salary doubled due to my success at promoting various clients and their wares. Hype raise indeed.