Tax Return, Returned...

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spathiphyllum | 16:52 Thu 07th Feb 2019 | Jokes
3 Answers
Can you believe it? My income tax return form has been sent back to me because, in response to question 4, "Do you have anyone dependant on you?" I replied: 2.1 million illegal immigrants, 1.1 million crack heads, 4.4 million unemployables, 900,000 criminals in over 85 prisons, plus the 650 idiots in parliament and the whole of the European commission. They said "This is not an acceptable answer", so tell me.. Who did i miss out!?


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650 MPs
OOps meant to say it seem like a lot more
At the end of the tax year, HMRC sent an inspector to audit the books of a Synagogue in Golders Green. While he was checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said, 'I notice you have a lot of candles. But according to these records you don't buy them often. How come?

'Good question,' noted the Rabbi. 'We save the candle drippings up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles.'

'Oh,' replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went:

'What about the matzah purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?'

'Ah, yes,' replied the Rabbi, realising that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. 'We collect them and send them back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send us a free box of matzahs.'

'I see,' replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi. 'Well, Rabbi,' he went on, 'what do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?'

'Here, too, we do not waste,' answered the Rabbi...

'What we do is save all the foreskins and send them to HMRC and about once a year they send us a complete dick.

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Tax Return, Returned...

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