Religion & Spirituality0 min ago
My First Day
It was my first day working as a pilot today. I got off to a flier.
I don’t fancy the new gastro pub that’s just opened near us. I think the name, “Entiritis” is putting me off.
I once got locked up for stabbing a paragraph. It was a lengthy sentence.
This bloke in the pub said “I remember you! You sold me that broken alarm clock two months ago.” It didn’t ring a bell.
I spent the weekend going through all my old computers in the loft. So many memories.
My partner made some cupcakes yesterday, they were a total disaster. They turned to mush as soon you put tea in them.
I was in a crowded pub with my friend, when he suddenly sprayed me with fluorescent paint. I wish he would stop showing me up like that.
At work, my boss always abuses his power. He has ten appliances plugged into a single socket.
People have always told me that I shouldn’t make sweeping statements. But I find it easier to tilt the dustpan when sweeping up, if you tilt the pan back just in time, you will catch all the dust.
I got really angry trying to carry my memory foam mattress up the stairs, but in the end I learned to control my Tempur.
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