I Recently Hired

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marval | 00:02 Thu 03rd Jan 2019 | Jokes
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I have recently hired a pair of etiquette consultants. They complement each other nicely.

“Do you accept cards as payment?” I asked the lad in the takeaway. “Of course, Sir”, he replied, smiling. “Great”, I replied, “this one is an old birthday card.”

My friend has made a new type of bird box to help new birds fledge. Can’t really see it taking off.

I went to the Q Awards last night. It took me three hours to get in.

Did you hear about the carpenter who became an MP? He put the cabinet together.

So there I was chatting to a nice polite librarian about a book, when she picked it up, turned around and bent suggestively over to place it away on the bottom shelf. I thought it really lowered the tome of the conversation.

My mate changed his name to Arial Font. He’s always been a bit bold like that.

My local corner shop claims to be offering a free abacus with every purchase, but I wouldn’t count on it.

After years of trying to damage a Bath Toy. I have finally broken my duck

I was thrown out of Furniture making College for misunderstanding ‘Stool Samples’ during my Practical exam.


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The carpenter one reminds me of this old chestnut.
How is MFI like Cecil Parkinson?
One loose screw and the whole cabinet collapses.
(Ask your elders what MFI was or even Cecil Parkinson)
People used to say MFI stood for 'Made For Idiots'

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