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marval | 18:06 Wed 21st Mar 2018 | Jokes
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I have just cooked myself some dried fruit, but I had to hurry. I’ve got a hot date.

They got the weather forecast right yesterday. They said there was a patchy rain band coming. I looked out of the window and there were four red Indians singing in my garden.

I wrote a book about noise. You have probably heard about it.

I got a doctors examination the other day and he wanted to test my flexibility. He asked if I was available next Monday, Tuesday and Thursday.

I have just come back from a Blur concert. I didn’t see much.

I saw a woman in the high street today selling novelty size mobile phones; she had the biggest pair of Nokias you have ever seen.

I was feeling quite happy when I was rolling a joint earlier. I am easily amused at the butchers.

My daughter went to university to study ballet. She didn’t do very well though, she got a tutu.

I complained to the council that the street I live on has no name. They said they’ll address it at the next board meeting.

My partner went out to buy a new car but all she came back with was a bar stool. Apparently, it’s the new Seat.

I used to work at Tesco in the fabric softener aisle but I’ve just moved to wines and spirits. I’m out of my comfort zone.

I told my friend I was going to the nearby shop. He asked me to get him a chocolate bar while I was there. “What kind of chocolate bar?” I asked. “Just get me a Galaxy” He replied. He wasn’t impressed when I got back and gave him a Milky Way.


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Very good, particularly like the one about the street with no name !
Best yet Marval! Lol
Those, stoned dates take me right back to my old college days ;-)

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