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Duz Tha Speak Yorkshire?

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McMouse | 10:31 Thu 04th Jul 2013 | Jokes
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Police have just released details of a new drug craze that is being carried out in Yorkshire nightclubs. Apparently, Yorkshire club-goers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth.
Police say the dangerous practice is called: "e by gum"

A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshireman: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshireman: "Nay, I've browt it wi me."

A Yorkshireman's dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshireman: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Duz ya want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshireman: "Naw, I want it chewin' a bone, yer daft bugger!"

The last is always the best ...........
Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?" Chemist replies, "Aye lad, Magnum or Cornetto?"

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Is ta teckint piss?
A Yorkshire aerobics instructor said to his class "Hands on thighs" so they all did.

None of them could see a thing.

[ I'm here all week ]
Did you hear about the dog in Leeds who blew himself up?

He was a Yorkshire terrierist.
that took a lot of concentration to read that in Yorkshire to get the jokes, but it was worth it. I'm a typical Southerner that struggles to understand folk from the next village!
don;t get sunny dave's one ??
Hands on eyes McFluffy

(gormless cow)

;-)
Me neither Mcfluff, but lets smile and nod anyway :)
oooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

penny drops

well i'm a southerner, i speak proper (can't type it though...)
If a word starts with a vowel, Yorkshire, and us Lancastrians to an extent tend to start it with a TH sound.
I'm a Yorkshire-man and I had trouble reading them, gawd knows how some of you managed it.... very good though.

We don't all speak like Compo, Cleggy and tha t'other one.
Ee t'old uns are t'best
Tha knows nowt!
'm from sheffold tha knows
100% Yorkie, me
What part of you's Welsh then?

McMouse

those are very good
Good ones McMouse.

Pubs in Yorkshire have fallen victim to a million-pound sting.

Blimey, how big was that bee.
A Yorkshire poem

We're down in't coyle 'oyle
Where't muck slarts on't winders
We've used all us coyle up
And we're rait down't t'cinders,
But if bum bailiff comes
Ee'll nivver findus
Cos we'll be down in't coyle 'oyle
Where't muck slarts on't winders

Translated for you southerners

We're down in the cellar
Where the dirt has collected on the windows
We have used up all our coal
And we are now down to the cinders
If the rent man comes
He will never find us
For we will be down in the cellar
Where the dirt has collected on the windows

woiuld work for Aynoch and Ayli in wolverhampton

many thanks

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