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marval | 21:24 Wed 03rd Jul 2013 | Jokes
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I tried grilling a chicken at lunchtime.
"Right, I'll ask you one more time. Why did you cross the road?"


I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife reckons it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat!


I had one of those horrible moments this morning when I confused my wife's hair removal cream with the toothpaste.
Mind you, my legs have never smelled so minty.


Can anyone else think of a use for multi-purpose compost, other than growing plants in it?


I answered the door this morning.
Felt a complete idiot when I realised it never said anything.


My next door neighbour has a green triangular house.
My other next door neighbour has a yellow rectangular house.
And my neighbour across the road has an orange octagonal house...
I live in a Quality Street.


I walked into the hairdressers and said, "How much for a crew cut?"
The bloke said, "Seven quid."
I said, "Sweet, come in lads!"


I think hitch-hikers are really friendly.
I've gone past three in the last hour and they all gave me the thumbs up


I was going through the Channel Tunnel the other day.
"I guess this means I've failed" I said to the driving examiner.


1st Brummie: - "Have you seen The Voice?"
2nd Brummie: - "Course I 'ave, it's on the bench in me shed next to me woodworking tools.


I started writing poetry the other day:
POETR
That's coming along nicely.

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It's a welcome return for Marval...
21:47 Wed 03rd Jul 2013
Lol :-)
I like them all especially the Brummie one!
It's a welcome return for Marval...
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