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Little Johnny

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marval | 23:58 Mon 17th Dec 2012 | Jokes
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Little Johnny came downstairs bellowing lustily.

His mother asked, "What's the matter now"

"Dad was hanging pictures, and just hit his thumb with a hammer," said Johnny through his tears.

"That's not so serious," soothed his mother. "I know you're upset, but a big boy like you shouldn't cry at something like that. Why didn't you just laugh?"

"I did!" sobbed Johnny.


The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers.

"Yes," he says. "My daddy taught me."

"Can you tell me what comes after three?"

"Four," answers little Johnny.

"What comes after six?"

"Seven," answers little Johnny.

"Very good," says the teacher. "Your father did a very fine job.
What comes after ten?"

"A jack," answers little Johnny.


Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, I’m going to go play in my room for a couple of hours. I sure would like a piece of cake after though!

Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cake, Little Johnny exclaimed, "Wow! it worked!"

Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean?"

Little Johnny replied, "Daddy said that in order to get a piece around here, you have to spend a couple of hours playing first."


A priest was talking to a group of kids about "being good" and going to heaven.

At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?"

"Heaven, Heaven!" Yelled Little Lisa.

"And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the priest.

"Dead!" Yelled Little Johnny.


Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother was putting cold cream on her face.

"Why are you rubbing that cream on your face, mommy?" he asked.

"To stay pretty for daddy," said his mother.

A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue.

"What's the matter mommy?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"



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Tee-hee. All good ones marval. Senior moment then, just typed a whole line with my hands on the wrong keys. Serves me right for showing off my touch typing.
Question Author
Don't worry Star, I seem to get typing dislexia.
Phew!! I'll finish 'em off in the morning...

Jem.

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